spaceHeyyyy guys.... rant about Me and Life

this is my first blog post, and i'm honestly a little excited. i've used twitter and stuff before, but when I was a lot younger I remember blog posts being this cool teenager thing you always saw in movies. by the time I grew up, being 18 now, this sort of thing seemed to have already faded out. twitter just isn't the same (I think....?). that said, it's a new year and trying it out sounds super fun!!!!! 

so, hi, i'm mia/mio/miao L oh L. I don't know a single thing about blogging but I like to talk so it's okay. for this first entry, i'll just talk about myself in an effort to convince myself that I am in fact interesting and not the most boring and unproductive person alive.

I loveeee music: discovering artists, exploring their discographies, listening to different genres and subgenres, looking into their history. it's just so fun and I feel like even when I find a song I think is absolute CHEEKS, I can appreciate the fact that it exists. because that's so cool like! you made music! I can hear everything put together! it made me feel sad or maybe it made me feel like you need to change careers! 

i'm not gonna lie and say I listen to everything because I don't. there's a lot of genres I haven't learned of or explored; there's also some i've completely ignored because of preexisting prejudice (this is literally only about country music i'm sorry country artists and listeners). that said, i'd like to learn of them and try new things out as the days go by, even if I don't end up being a fan. 

taking a bit of a detour here, i'd just like to thank 2025 for helping me realize my kpop hyper fixation ended after I started taking antidepressants. music still bangs though; i'm just quite literally not as mentally ill or sleep deprived over it! it's definitely still a fun little hobby for me though, kpop idol variety shows are too entertaining and photo cards are a cute concept. 

so yeah, music! thumbs up guys!

music has always been a steady existence with me; from reggaeton in the car as a 7 year old to kpop in my middle school airpods (which literally died on me recently rip gang). I think that in a way is sort of grounding. but growing up, I had a lot of hobby turned hyperfixations that were at first, super enjoyable. the best thing in the world. they then slowly ruined my life because they felt like chores that ruled over my existence. that said, I still hold a lot of them dearly in my heart. the copious amounts of manga I've read (one piece peak fiction), the amazing and also crappy anime, the kpop groups I woke up at 4am to watch live award show performances for (shout-out bts), and even my notes app poetry. 

I still engage in a lot of these things, just not as often or with as much vigor as I used to. but those parts of my life took up chunks of my time, years upon years. where I am now, not really having any long lasting or new hyperfixations i've found myself feeling empty. I wake up, stay in bed for a couple hours, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. what takes up those empty spaces of time once filled with happiness is now just useless things: switching between twitter and tiktok, downloading random apps, all that stuff they spout in motivation videos and call a waste of time!!!!

it's not all bad though. i'm still gaining new things, little by little. I just need to take the time to step back every once and a while and realize what i've built up. 

my diet may be crap, yes. my cholesterol may be obscenely high, yes. but I eat the food I love to eat and think of trying new things. I may not get much big gains in the gym because of all that, but I ultimately picked up weightlifting as a hobby because I liked it. the slight change in physique is just a plus. even when I slack, I always find my way back to it. it's not an obsession to me, but it's also not insignificant. in a time where I so often feel empty, I think this means a lot to me. 

other than that, I do a lot of other mundane things!

• Like a middle school boy, I have a fortnite addiction. I strictly play zero build and play on a nintendo switch though, so they probably wouldn't want to claim me. 
• I make playlists: for themes that pop up in my head like a feeling or for songs that feel like jo yuri would sing them but she actually doesn't, for friends, for myself, all that stuff. it's fun and an enjoyable way to pass time. 
• biweekly karaoke just because
• figure out skincare. at the end of the day, my skin isn't exactly clear but it's nice to see progress after some ups and downs. I recently discovered pimple patches do in fact work and you're supposed to put them on after you pop a pimple too....?
• college. 
• applying to jobs that do not accept me
• question my existence as a person without passions that feels insignificant compared to everybody else
• laugh . I laugh at the most stupid stuff ever. it's great though. 
• watch gameplays! ff7 is my most recent. I miss aerith. I am not a gamer I am a watcher but I do claim to be part of these fandoms idgaf. 

it's almost 1am and I can't think of much else to add. if you made it this far, thank you for staying. if you just clicked, that's great too. if there's nobody here then I'm just glad I could lay my own eyes on this and write for no real reason.

Happy 2025 <3