college

I’m class of 2025 which means I graduate this year. I don’t know what I’m going to study, I don’t know where to apply, and I definitely don’t have a plan like at all. I would love to do art but I’m not good enough I don’t have any finished pieces just drawings on my sketchbook and worksheets from school so that’s a no… and then I sucked at making a essay and I also can’t find any major that actually interests me :( 

What I really don’t get though is how everyone knows already what they’re going to do the rest of their life. How do you decide something like that? I change my mind every day. One day I like reading so I want to create a story I do it then forget abt it, the other day I want to learn drums or guitar and make a band with some random people, or even make a YouTube channel and play games as a living. I literally can never choose one thing to do for the rest of my life that’s scary af. 

Either way I’m struggling with high school already I can’t imagine going into college immediately. I’ll probably just take a gap year if I beg on my knees and cry so my parents let me but then I would have to get a job and I don’t even have a my permit yet and that was literally not even my fault cause my parents were the ones who didn’t let me get either of those to “focus on school”. 

Hopefully things get better.