NOSTALGIA AND WITHOUT EMOTION...

VOLUME 1

NOSTALGIA AND WITHOUT EMOTION 

well, it's 12:00 midnight right now in my country, it's already New Year... I have to say it, I don't feel excited at all about this holiday, about this New Year. It just feels strange, I don't feel any excitement this day, nothing feels like it used to, nothing feels...right. I remember that around this time, when my father was still here and with my mother, we used to go to the beach. I remember that we always got up in the morning to get in the car and head there, it was fun to wake up early and prepare things for a great day at the beach. When we got into the car and the journey began, I remember how calm I felt looking at the mist and the darkness of the moment through the window, it was relaxing and great. I always enjoyed the trips a lot, and those moments were truly enchanting for me; maybe I should have appreciated them a little more... . Upon arriving at the beach, everything was great and fun! We passed by every craft store there, people walking by, talking, buying things. Simply a spectacular day... Just a spectacular day... After that, we stayed in some houses that looked like cabins, where people usually stay for a few days. After that, we stayed in some houses that looked like cabins, where people usually stay for a few days. It was relaxing to enter a new place, a new environment with a new vibe. When night fell, my whole family would get dressed and prepare to go out, of course, I had to do the same. Maybe you're wondering: where exactly were we going? Well, none other than the grand New Year's celebration! At the beach we went to, there was a big path leading up, where there were tons of shops and food stalls, as well as lights and music everywhere! Simply something magnificent. At the end of that path, we arrived at a giant place, almost like a stage area where people wait for the show. People were crowding in that place, waiting for it to be exactly 12 o'clock. And after so much waiting... BANG! The lights of the place would go out, everyone would gather, and...when there were. Just 10 seconds, everyone began counting down, 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...!!! "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" was what everyone shouted at the end of the countdown, making the fireworks launch and explode in the sky at that very moment, dazzling everyone with their light, the loud sound, and how beautiful it was. They have no idea how amazing that was for me, moments in my life when I was truly happy, where there was quality time with my family. At this moment, I find myself lying in my room, completely alone, without feeling any kind of emotion like in those times. My mother is spending time with someone who is not my father, my father is simply no longer here, and my sister... is next to me, but also with someone who is not me, someone foreign to me. After remembering all that, after realizing I was lying down at another celebration, I knew I should have appreciated those moments from the past more, because now... I know they will never come back into my life.