its the 31st of December, 2024, 7:22pm.

i'm nervous and anxious and not really in the spirit. i'm writing this because if this site sticks around, it'd be kind of cool to look back on in some years

right now i'm supposed to be packing, (i'm not, i'm anxious and putting it off) since tomorrow i'm moving, on the 1st day of january. i've been thinking a lot about how, this will be the last time i guess in the world, that it'll be the year 2024. its the last day

im really young, but it makes the reality dawn on me that time really is going faster and i ultimately have little time until i'm an adult with adult responsibilities. i've thought about that every birthday for about 2 years now.

i'm scared that i'm not trying hard enough, not studying hard enough, that i won't be good enough in time to get into a good college, to head start a path into my dreams. right now, my hope for life relies on this. if i don't get accepted into college, i don't know what i'll do with my life.

i really hope that maybe my future self is all happy and stuff, maybe he looks at me with pity, or cringe or hate. i hope he continues to understand me, i feel like i'm the only one who understands myself, but when the me of this level of maturity is gone, will the new me forget the understanding for the me now?