together

i wrote a poem a few years ago about my first love and how it scorned me. i've decided to post my poetry on this blog mostly as a personal log of my writing. i believe i was 17 when i wrote this.

when we were together my fear was nowhere to be found,

swirling in a river, with the fish as they make their daily rounds.

the veil of my own doubt was lifted by your soft fingers,

caressing my cheeks as your soft gaze on me lingered.

our first date by the water, your feet dangling closely over the wide ocean,

later in the evening when we were alone i swore to you my devotion.

to be with you, to love and follow you,

you looked at me with the most love eyes could hold.

from the moment i saw you i knew.

away from everyone, we stayed in each other's company,

we built a life together and would often return to the ocean where we made our promise.

perhaps being in your presence made me act more husbandly?

my past would leave my body when with you, only feeling catharsis.

but was i too much for you?

you seemed to pull away from me and act distantly.

after the seed of doubt had been planted i tried my hardest to bring you back to me,

my pride shattered, i didn't care even if i would need to plead.

the whirlwhind of emotions came crashing on me as you said your goodbyes,

what happened to our promises?

the hope of our future?

did i imagine them drunkenly?

you walked out of my life, claiming all you wanted was simplicity.

apparently i was the only one who felt the overwhelming electricity.

we weren't together.

the feelings that had left my soul now seeped through my skin,

bindinf to me like a fresh set of chains.

my mind descended as did my lifestyle,

nothing could save me from this hurricane.

recalling our time together at the ocean pained my heart to recall,

i would return there to our promise,

but only as night falls.

without you i cannot feel peace, my greed for you had sent you away,

now it is only right that i shall have to pay.

the full moon shines above me, reminding me of your own bright smile.

stepping into the cold abyss is the only way to atone for causing you so much pain,

now you can be together with someone else,

i hope your love shall be maintained.