was so fuckin mad last night lol (tw small sh mention)

istg im a mod in a server right and the most fuckin insane situation happened w one of the mods and another mods friend, its too long to explain but the friend was being so damn rude and was planning to send literal G0RE to the other mod bcs they were mad at them but they were excused for now bcs theyve been under a lot of stress the past few days and has mental issues,,?? 

i hope that makes sense...its especially crazy when all of us in this server have mental issues, i get its supposed to be a safe space for us but like HUH??? and when i was like wtf, the other mods were being way too calm about the situation and playing way too much of a mediator, 'lets see both sides' role..at first i was also trying to be reasonable and mature, but istg this girl is insufferable i CANT T-T

it made me so mad and upset that nobody was listening that i ended up spiraling, imploding and cutting..quite disappointed in myself!!! im still a little mad but its fine.

altho im also actually p proud of myself because unlike other times i was able to calm myself down again relatively quickly instead of feeding into my own spiral. i really hope this is a step into a better direction considering my mental health!! im going to just try stay away from things while still fulfilling my mod role for now.

thanks for reading my crazy rant LOL