life sux

do you guys ever feel so empty that you dont even wanna be happy anymore. like idk how to describe it but i just dont think i even deserve to be happy. like think of someone you really dont like; do you think they deserve to be happy? most people would probably say no so i guess thats just how i feel about myself. idk tho whenever i tell people this they just tell me im "attention seeking" because im not even trying to get better but thats not at all what i mean. i want to be happier but i just dont think i deserve to yk??