God it's been a while. I just suffered through the most fucking exhausting, stressful 2 months I've probably ever been through. My family decided out of complete nowhere to move house. It isn't even far from the old house, but that doesn't mean shit when every day over the first 2 and a half weeks of november were exclusively: wake up, eat, either get sent to school or immediately start cleaning for the next 3-5 hours, eat more, try to listen to music, get yelled at for trying to listen to music, clean for another 2 hours, eat more, clean more, go to bed, repeat. On the last day, moving to the new house with dad got delayed, so me, mum, and my little brothers had to sleep on the floor with cheap, thin blankets that we had to buy that night. I at least had the dignity of sleeping on top of a bath mat as well, but I was shifting between sobbing and nearly having what I think was probably going to be a panic attack. Then, when I finally got to the new house, it was basically that but replace cleaning with unpacking my stuff but getting yelled at for trying to find specifically my things rather than doing everything for my little brothers. The first night there was weird. It was like the night before, just with a matress and a pillow, and a shelf next to me. I felt like i was about to have a full emotional breakdown. For about 2 weeks prior, I'd had IGOR by tyler the creator sitting in my downloads, and, on the verge of a breakdown, put on some headphones and finally, I felt safe and calm for the first time in like 3 days. I remember having pure chills the whole album, despite the disgusting heat and humidity. All the unpacking has been over for a week, but it's still kinda uncomfortable here, like a place that's closer to a hotel room than a home at times. still better than the house before, it was tiny and cramped and i couldnt have posters. Now i can actually change my room as much as i fucking please. (also i beat peace walker YAY)
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Moved house.
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