PLEASE HELP ME I AM SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE IDENTITY CRISIS

Well, I'm going to apologize right away because this is probably going to be quite long, and I ask that you read it all. I also apologize for any possible translation errors, because my English is bad and I have to use cheap and unreliable translators from the internet.

A while ago (about a month) I simply collapsed and went through an identity crisis, which was something new for me and I didn't know how to deal with it (I've had several "existential crises", but this is something very different). I don't know exactly why this happened and I won't go into detail about the possible reasons, but before it happened I was going through a lot of stress and had lost some friends. Anyway, regardless of the reason, I initially (the first whole week) did absolutely nothing other than listen to music and occasionally eat, and I spent the whole time lying in my bed. I really didn't feel like doing anything and everything seemed unimportant to me, even my favorite hobbies weren't something I saw as "necessary", and that's why I didn't do them. In fact, at first it was probably also an existential crisis. After a while, I went back to doing basic things in life and having fun, even if they weren't "useful or important" (because not everything (in fact, almost nothing) needs to have a meaning or use), but I still felt very lonely and missing myself.

Going deeper into the "crisis" itself and not the "symptoms", I was and still feel like I didn't know myself, didn't know my real interests and even my face looks strange to me now. Thinking about it better now, I think I know why all this happened.

I don't know about you, but I've always created "masks" for people. Like, I act and speak in a certain way with someone, which is not the same way and things I say with anyone else. It's common to have this change in attitude with very different people, like, you probably don't act and speak the same way with your distant and conservative family members as you do with your close friends. But I am a "different person" with literally everyone, and not just in distinct groups, and this makes there be a different version of me for almost everyone who knows me (I don't know if this is some kind of disorder or something, but I hope not, in fact it may be much more common than I think.) Well, and when I come across people from different groups who I act in completely different ways interacting with each other and with each other, I kind of have a problem, because it's like I have to choose between which of my versions I would have to be, and thus be different from the norm for some of those involved. And well before my breakdown I had frequent encounters of this type, which were causing me some anxiety crises (yes, I go through a lot of crises lol).

Anyway, after creating so many versions of myself, I don't know which one I really am, if I am any of them, and this constantly disturbs me. I realized that I have to "universalize" myself, that is, stop creating versions of myself that are so different for people. But then I came across another problem: what am I going to be? I realized that none of my versions really please me, and that I'm still a weird, problematic sick person that many people don't like, regardless of which one they are. Yes, even without knowing who I am, I'm still aware of part of my personality essence. And well, I realized that I have to create my "new universal personality", and then I had even more doubts, like, "do I have to continue being the same way I was before?" "can I be something different?" "if I become something different, will I still be me?" "if I stop being me, what will I be? and what's the problem with me not being me anymore?" And yes, I still have these doubts and I haven't managed to solve almost any of them, besides the ones not mentioned. Regardless of everything, my conclusion was that I have to change somehow, for something, I just don't know what, and that's what I need to know. Well, I also don't know how I can do that, like, no one wakes up and decides they're going to be someone different and suddenly has a different way of talking, walking, acting, etc. And it's also not something that you can take a class, you know? I thought about taking theater classes to help me with that and to help me lose a little of my extreme shyness, which is what's hurting me the most.