Love

Since I'll be 18 on Septemeber 5th, I'll technically be an adult. The thing is, I wish most of the time that I wasn't forced to grow up so fast. Around the age of 8, the three of my siblings, all around my age, where introduced to a new mother, and later a sister. A couple of years later that turned into having 4 more siblings and moving to a new state.

My parents, mostly my father, have been really strict. I believe there is truth to the phrase "sneaky parents raise sneaky kids" because I've been introduced to a certain subject at a young age because of this. I don't know if I can say that on here, but it deals with intimacy.

That really damaged me as a person. Each year growing more into a "young woman" I feel more like a kid. I'm scared to go to college because that means I have to communicate with people. I'm not anti-social, just have really bad social anxiety. But the reason why I have that is because of he different kinds of boys I liked in my school, all of whom humiliated me in front of everybody.(I was a big crybaby.)

Now I am scarred and scared. I daydream about being loved 24 hours, 7 days a week. It's kind of annoying, and makes it harder to talk to real people. The worst thing about it is that I have nobody to talk to. I do talk to two of my school counselors, but I get too emotional.