The urge I have to create and express stuff is too overpowered by everything

I always have this constant want, need, urge, and passion to create but I never do. It feels so difficult. I want to write, sing, draw, paint, sculpt, act, and everything I can, but I just can't.
The most prominent thing I want to do is write and sing. My dream is to be in a band, or a singer. I really want to learn how to write poetry and lyrics but I don't know how and anything telling me how feels like to no help. Anytime I write anything and it's bad I just shrivel up and die for a week. 

I'm still going to try and push myself the most I can. My overall plan is to drop out at the end of 2025 (When I finish yr 10) take a TAFE course on hairstyling and another on tailor work (sewing and stuff) then get a job where I can do either (preferably hair) then decicate my free time to writing, and trying to start up a band or a solo act.

If that doesn't pan out I have a few backups until it's just hair. I've had this plan for about a year obviously it might sound a bit weird I have a few backups, at least from me, but even though I do like to just 'wing it' for a lot of things I know how terrible my luck can be and so I'm just trying to make sure I'm able to reach anything I like and find enjoyable and a place I can output my creativity. I don't want to live like so many adults I've seen. So many of them never got to do what they want because people in their life said they'd be 'unsuccessful' or other stuff. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be deterred from my dreams by the smallest inconvenience or the slightest chance of failure and end up working a job in which I mindlessly go along through every single day. I can't help what I want, I can't help who I am, I can't stop my dreams or the urge to make the reality.

Thats all.

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