I feel weird inside

Life's been bland lately I have nothing to do even when Christmas was here it just felt like another day is this what getting older feels like I hate it I also have bf who I truly love dearly but I can't stand him sometimes and he gets mad at me and calls me selfish when I don't act empathetic when it's hard for me to feel emotions like empathy I wish I could start over maybe then my life would mean something to me