dressed all in blue and i’m remembering you

28/12/24

also, she had a cat and she played the guitar

christmas felt less cold this year. like i’m still waiting for it. but i’m not and i feel ok. things change but change can be good. maybe next year i’ll feel better again. i’m so excited to live and meet people and see places and feel comfortable in my skin. and feel new and not broken

If feeling this good is a sin, let’s do it all over again

give me some credit. i am stronger than you think, despite my weakness. 

and it’s nice to feel sexy and wanted and loved so let me live. 

i'm learning. love and be loved - the greatest thing you’ll ever learn. pop culture has taught me one thing. and even though i can’t remember that song, i know it’s accurate. 

and you’re so good to me 

and i haven’t felt empty in so long. 

does he tell when you’re sorry? does he tell you when you’re wrong?

it’s too much now. and obsessive. and i’m not going to forget he exists because i love him and he loves me and that’s all that matters and i deserve to be happy and it’s a mess of melancholia and self-indulgence. and i finished that book even though nobody thought i would. because i can do the things that will make me happy. and sometimes it’s good to be selfish but sometimes things go too far and sometimes you ask a question you have no right to ask and you get the answer you want but didn’t expect and i shouldn’t have answered because you didn’t need to know and i won’t tell you when it happens or maybe i will. why did I expect any different?

Happy new year guys

Hope you’re all ok

Miss misery