About a guy

It's so hard to accept that you've gone and that you're never coming back. Part of me still hopes that you will come back to me, but the other part knows that there is no more “us”, and that we both need to let go. We were just a moment, a phase of need and self-discovery. I don't know how I feel about you. I don't know if I still love you, if I hate you, if I'm grateful or if I miss you... it's so painful to sleep and give love to your ghost, but there's no reason for you to answer the messages I never sent. You've changed me. Maybe not you, but the situation itself. We're like rubricks cube: we need to take ourselves apart to put ourselves back together again. I feel used. I feel as if you, even without realizing it, had used me just to discover your sexuality. I feel as if we hadn't really broken up, as if the cycle hadn't come to an end. I remember you down to the smallest detail and that hurts me a lot. you were my first love. the end of everything was the fault of both of us. we didn't talk about important things and our feelings. You didn't know what you were feeling and I didn't have the patience with you. and I know that I owe you an apology, and I have apologized, but you didn't accept it. I miss you, I want to give you one last hug, one last “Bye, Mr. Spock!!!”. At first, I thought I could still fix it, but now I see that we've fulfilled our roles in each other's lives, I taught you that it's important to talk about your feelings and you taught me that it's important to give space to the other person in the relationship. I'm tired of lying and saying that I don't look for you. yes, I do look for you and I avoid the subjects you like. you owe me an apology. you owe me one last hug.