always somethin

had a pretty good holiday, brother brought his girlfriend and they left today earlier. got a pin i love and wanted and a couple that are meh and ill definitely regift at least one cuz its way more a certain friend of mines style than mine. couple t shirts (hollow knight and a trav nation mbmbam one lets goooo), new art pens, a mug and socks from my shitty aunt, and a michaels gift card which will be useful. talked a lot about a lot of heavy shit w my parents, need to get a job soon asap... will need to work on that all this week and next. head is hurting so bad rn

lot of money worries and logistics worries and then i check my phone to see a long message chain from my irl best friend that she just discovered our irl friend who i cared about a lot has been emotionally abusing their husband for... a long time. hes filing for divorce asap after another friend overheard and talked to him about it. it hurts a lot but also makes things make sense bc this friend also didnt really react much when informed about a former friend abusing aforementioned best friend, and just kept hanging out w that person and didnt really seem bothered by like. stalking and emotional abuse. :/ best friend is looking after the husband and i offered my support if theres anything i can do for him too

idk its just very upsetting but i dont have the bandwidth to even be upset because ive got so much other shit going on and im waiting on my medicaid whichll be probably a month more to process before i can even imagine being back on my very needed mood stabilizers and getting a refill on my hrt which im dangerously low on. and my wifes leg is just starting to heal from being crushed by a motorcycle and hes been forced to go back to work bc otherwise when he leaves bc of his eviction next month he'll be in massive debt if he cant scrape up enough and the sick leave pay kneecapped the planned debt money so yaaaay

idk this and with the previous abuse problems and other things w friend partnerships i see irl i just... 1. am glad me and my wife get along so well 2. why am i seeing so much of this? it hurts. but i think its just that i have friends now, which i didnt have many for a very long time. and now i have friends who are community organizers and who call out abuse when they see it. its just disheartening and i just miss my wifes arms

AND i cant find my menorah and forgot tonight was the first night. so i gotta dig around and find it tomorrow and cut my candles to fit