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25/12/2024
I'm new to this site, but I wanted someplace to post stories from my job. I've worked in nursing homes for the past five or so years. It's a difficult job, but I find it rewarding, of course the biggest hurdle of the job is difficult colleagues and incompetent bosses. Other than that, I enjoy it. It's so much more than "wiping ass" and feeding old people.
I work with primarily residents with different types of dementia, as well as some younger residents who were housed here cause of shortage of placement in more fitting housing situations. One is in her 40s, she's from the middle east and suffered several strokes. The other is a lady in her 60s, her schizophrenia developed in her 20s due to a traumatic incident. She has been through a lot of abuse, she became very low functioning because of it on top of her catatonia.
Anyways, here are some stories.
Ana
Ana (not her real name,) was moved to where I work due to being treated poorly at another place. I spent a lot of time with her (still do,) when she arrived. She's super cute, her hair is voluminous and she was really curious. She didn't speak much, but she would wander around. I would assist her with basic tasks, like eating, she could do it on her own but needed support. I vividly remember watching TV with her, she laid her head on my shoulder and I leaned against her. She's such a sweet lady, and I could tell by how much her daughters care for her.
Our stupid doctor removed her rivastigmine, she got worse. I was gone for a while and didn't work, when I came back she lost most of her function. She was bed bound, couldn't move her legs, had to go on a liquid diet cause she couldn't eat solid food anymore. She still moves her arms, grabs onto you like she always did, talks gibberish but is present.
Some time ago I realized her nails had gotten really long, we're supposed to cut their nails when they shower. I decided I had to cut them cause she kept scratching herself and leaving marks when she trembled. I cut them with a shitty scissor, then I filed them carefully. Usually she makes a fist when you handle her fingers, but when I was filing her nails, she stretched them out. She looked cozy, she likes being pampered and I could tell she was enjoying it.
A sad story, so trigger warning. I was talking with my colleague who works night shifts, we were talking about Ana and my colleague mentioned something that had happened when Ana was able to walk. They had to clean her privates cause of an accident, she obviously didn't like it. They pulled down her pants and washed her privates, and she says "älä [husband name]" which made my stomach sink.
Bertha
The schizophrenic resident, let's call her Bertha. She obviously had a really rough life, during the time I've been working at this home, she has gotten a lot happier and comfortable. She doesn't communicate verbally aside from repetitive sentences, but she walks around and stands close to me when I get to work. I like to give her cookies and sometimes during our coffee break, I give her one of my sandwiches cause she's looking at them. I spoil her a little bit, but I think she deserves it and she holds a special place in my heart as someone who also experienced abuse and psychoses.
One short story, I remember I had to wash her cause....accident. I always shower her top to toe when something happened cause I know she likes showering. When I was helping her dry, I rubbed her cheeks with the towel to dry her face (she has cute, soft cheeks) and she smiled so big her eyes squinted. It made me so happy that she was enjoying herself.
I was picking out her clothes for the day, she came over to look. "Who are we going to bully today?" she asked. And I answered "what?" and she repeated herself. I was so confused. She's pretty silly.
Sometimes Bertha has little breakdowns where she feels really bad and gets a bit aggressive, not maliciously but she can't handle her emotions/pain. She grabs you, twists your arm, pulls at you, sometimes she gets into others apartments and they freak out. It happens sometimes. Once I was talking with my colleagues, Bertha comes up behind me and grabs my throat. I pull her hands away and put them around my waist, like I made her hug me instead while I gently held her hands. She didn't pull away (she would if she didn't like it), she was just pressed against me with her face against my neck. Just chilling with us.
Once I was cleaning up in the kitchen, I had put a jug of water on the table for the others to pour water for their meal. I turn around from the kitchen and I watch Bertha drinking directly from the jug. I'm glad I noticed it lol.
I may add more later. I have plenty of stories, just feeling lazy right now haha. If anyone reads this, feel free to ask questions or share your experiences. :)
Comments
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Hazel
Working in healthcare is no easy task, but the amount of people you are helping outweighs the struggles. How mental health can be so fragile and the human mind as well, it's both terrifying and fascinating... I am relieved that there are still good places out there.
How did you get started in your career? Was it something you wanted to pursue when you were younger?
It is indeed a difficult task, more difficult in what peoples perception of the job is. People assume the most difficult part is bodily fluids, they don't realize what it's like seeing your kindergarten teacher move in, or learning bits of an elderly's traumatic past. Piecing together the fragments of memory left by dementia into a semi-cohesive story of trauma and abuse. It is taxing in many ways.
I started my career around 2020 or 2021, I worked part time up until recently. I started at a place where my cousin worked, I asked for a referral to her boss and called her to arrange an interview—soon after I began working, with no prior experience. You don't need an education for these types of jobs, which makes them easily accessible due to the high demand.
I work as a care assistant, that's my title. It doesn't require any education since it's centred around the practical aspects of the job rather than medical. Above care assistant, you have assistant nurses, which requires an education. And above assistant nurses, you have nurses. I've learned a lot though with how you handle dementia symptoms, different medication, assault, warning signs to look after, etc.
And no, it wasn't. I still don't know what I want to pursue in the future, I have always been interested in healthcare and medical fields, but this wasn't something I intended to work with, not this long at least. I got comfortable working here though, it has taught me a lot about myself and how I view things around me. As an artist, I found it inspirational to my work as well seeing how we as individuals evolve, only to devolve into our childlike states when we reach the ends of the latter. The brain is so, so fragile. Yet so strong.
by caduceus; ; Report
It certainly sounds like you've found a potential long term career path. Your story sounds similar to a few people I know irl that are studying to be nurses. No doubt it's not an easy job, but you've got some skill there to navigate it.
What I find is that people who enter into healthcare as a career come with an upbringing where they experience similar happenings in their family life. For example - a good friend of mine is studying to be a pediatrician, partially because he grew up raising his siblings. So something in their life almost guided them into healthcare.
Is this true for you?
by Hazel; ; Report
I've considered sticking to healthcare, but I'm not so sure. It's a possibility, I love the medical field--anything ranging from innards and necrosis to medication and injections. It's a childhood interest of mine, lol.
I'm fortunate to have learned through experience, I find it much better than studying endless theory and text. It's a very interactive job, you're dealing with people, not pieces of paper.
For me, I gained an interest through curiosity. I think. We had some medical book at home, regarding how to treat common injuries or sicknesses. I was so fascinated by it, I loved looking at the colorful pills and capsules. It was like Cocomelon for me. I was frequently at the hospital now that I think about it, my eyesight is kinda bad and I had to get it check frequently, so we went back and forth between different hospitals.
I also visited the hospital to see family who were operated, I became quite fond of the sterile setting....I still am. I love the dullness of the walls and the weird mix of knowing there is death and life within the big building. Am I making sense at all?
by caduceus; ; Report
You are, I get where you’re coming from.
I was also a kid who went to the hospital / doctor a lot (bad anxiety really messes up your body). I liked looking at the charts on the walls, but I suppose it didn’t inspire me like how you saw it.
I see why people are fascinated by the body and medicine, though.
For a long while during my childhood I wanted to become a veterinarian. So, not the human body, but I enjoyed the idea of helping animals instead.
…but after flunking several science courses I decided to go down the art career road instead haha
by Hazel; ; Report
Oh yeah, I understand the anxiety struggles. Personally I've managed to "treat" it with meds, but it used to be horrid; anxiety induced panic attacks are so scary, especially when you're a teen and around a lot of people at school.
I also considered veterinary science as a kid, but everyone told me horror stories that all you did was euthanize people, which scared me. Now, I'm not scared of death, but I figured I'd pick a different path in life now that I already ruled it out lol. I love art, but it feels so unsecure for me, I wanna keep it around in my life :) Maybe start an online shop someday.
by caduceus; ; Report
Hey, it wouldn't hurt. I believe in nurturing those side hobbies. Especially when your main field of work gets intense, it certainly helps to have a place to decompress
by Hazel; ; Report