Letting go

I wish I knew what I wanted. Breaking up with the person I loved with every fiber of my being felt… freeing. I’m not bound to someone anymore, and I can do whatever I want without guilt. I push thoughts of her away and pretend it wasn’t meant to be. How could she be the right one if the idea of introducing her to my family terrified me? Love isn’t supposed to be easy, but it shouldn’t tear you apart from the people you’ve known your whole life.

Some days the ache is sharper than others. I don’t want her to move on. I don’t want her to replace me. I know that’s selfish, and I hate myself for it. It’s my fault we don’t talk anymore. My fault she felt unworthy of love. If only she knew how easy she is to love — her voice, her smile, the way her heart shines through everything she does. Every part of her feels like home.

I wish I could choose a side — to move on or not. I just hope she doesn’t hate me.

I love you, angel.