Christmas :/

Idk why but this year for Christmas just didn’t rlly feel so Christmasy. Like the sound of Christmas music wanted me to just lose it and jump out of a car driving at 80 mph and the shopping was ridiculous, the whole idea of Christmas now is just so materialistic now. Now don’t get me wrong, I fucking love being with my family and being together but seeing how my parents were literally struggling so hard to provide this year was so sad and I kept telling everyone “I don’t want anything” because I didn’t want to add onto their stress and yet my dad got me shoes that are like 60$ and a Lego set that was 80$ while he just got laid off of work. I loved my gifts and I was so fucking grateful and I love my dad for what he did but I just wish he didn’t have to just because it’s Christmas. Idk, just kinda feel like the Grinch this year