I can't take this anymore its tearing me apart...

My mom took away my only happiness and at first, it wasn't that bad. I was just living life as so. then I started to miss it, then I really missed it, and it just got worse as the months go by.  I fucking hate this so much I just want to do what makes me happy, but I can't, it's so bad. It sucks so much. All this just because i got an F in math