u r my wear & tear ★

                                                                                                                              7.4.23

u r the wear & tear of wanting to keep tearing my skin away 'til i rip out my heart with dirty, broken nails. & while its still warm, beating wildly from the desire to feel ur touch, u kiss it, lov it & drink the blood—the fruit of my lov—that drips onto the black tiles of the kitchen floor. the exhaustion of wanting to crush ur face against the ground so u can lick the thick red drops clean with ur tongue, moaning my name as i press harder on u & scream that i hate u, that i want to break every bone in ur body & kill u over & over & over again.

the wear of wanting to cry into ur chest like a wounded puppy while u stroke me tenderly, staining ur shirt with tears & mascara, begging u to forgive me for every stupid thing i’ve done since the day i was born. begging u to forgive me for what i’ve done to us, for being a worse person with every passing day, for not lovin u enough, for being fragile, for being a fool, for being inexperienced & for being an incurable liar. u r the wear & tear of loving someone who doesnt exist & never will.

(god that day was mentally hard hahahah)