public restrooms are fucking NASTY.

sometimes i wonder what the creator of public restrooms couldve POSSIBLY been thinking. "oh yeah harharhar let's take the general public (full of creeps and unsanitary mfs) and mix them in with bathrooms! (a space that isn't really meant to be shared. unless ur on that freaky shit)" like hell OH??? 

i have seen and heard a PLETHORA of diabolical shit that has happened behind those doors. wdym youve heard people doing the reproduction ritual in the stall next to you. what do you mean you've seen a pile of shit in the bathroom. not even in the bowl either bro it was right on the floor!!!! like what. how do you manage to miss??? the bowl was right fucking there oh my god

now i don't shit in public restrooms but it cannot be that hard bro. just sit your bootycheeks down over that damn bowl and push. ok?

oh. OH.

and i have a SPECIAL hatred in my heart for those mfs who just?? leave their shit in the bowl?? like are you trying to show it off? the amount of times i've seen someones brown chocolate glory just. sitting there. floating in the bowl. like hello? the handle is right there?? and its always such a jumpscare too. opening the stall doors feels like opening the doors to fucking chernobyl or something

remember the mfs who fuck in the bathrooms too? the ones i mentioned earlier? oh boy do i have a bone to pick with them

or a. boner. get it because sex? please laugh im fucking hilarious

i do NOT want to be pissing and all the sudden hear "ngghhh oh yeah right there big beefy daddycakes!!!!! oh so close im boutta bust!! aahhaaaahhhhh!!!!!" like please fuck outta here w that shit? its like ur ASKING me to reach under that damn stall wall and fling a cup of piss at you

some kid at my school shit in the sink.

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BAD THE TOILET WAS RIGHT THERE you absolute fucking PINECONE

mfs who piss on the seats and leave it there. do i even need to explain.

JUST FUCKING AIMMMM OH MY GOD AIM INTO THE HOLE YOUVE HAD YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO PRACTICE THIS and, AND, if you somehow manage to get piss on the seat, CLEAN IT UP dont just leave it there! dont leave your homemade lemonade there! FUCKING CLEAN IT.

aaAAND yeah. thats about it! heh bye