Ponderings, ramblings, and prepping for 2025

Yes, this is a generated image

• Crossposted from my blog, Blacked-Out Record •

'Lo, ev'ryone. Now that it's come to this, I guess this is just how it's gonna be...

I no longer use Wix. It's a personal reason but also a moral reason if you know what I mean. Anyway, I won't have all of the really fucking pretty things I had that came with it such as a newsletter, a "professional" blog, a member section, and other things that all came together in a nice little package. I'll have to make my new site from scratch—literally—unless I stick with some shit like Google Sites...which is what I have now. But I don't plan on keeping it that way.

I'd love to commission someone, but fuck if money isn't a huge problem right now.

This means, of course, that I'll have to keep people interested in...me?...somehow. Except, what is there to keep people interested? I literally do nothing. I can't do anything. I just...can't fucking do anything. I am useless.

I've come to...a painfully low point in my life. No one seems to understand just how low I am. How close I am.

I digress...

I will be using this as both my personal and my new "official" blog, damn the old entries from 2011+. I'm fucking human, and I want people to see that. I literally have nothing to hide. It goes "well" with me using Google to host my site, I suppose.

...for now.

Whatever...

How 2025 looks so far...

Lots of streaming, hopefully. Interacting online in servers and joining some online communities like Reddit and etc, working on my wiki, focusing on some minor coding; all that jazzy fuck shit.

Absolutely zero writing. None whatsoever. I give up on trying to entertain...myself and others. I'm a shitty, pathetic storyteller.

But a storyteller nonetheless. Not that it means anything, apparently...

I'm not even going to attempt to consider playing games. I can barely stream as it is. And there aren't any games that I love that I can actually play, anyway—at least newer ones. Old ones, from like the 1990s, sure, but no one wants to see that shit. Let alone from me. I'm not a gamer anyway, not anymore, dammit.

Be it I also don't have a camera, at least not yet, I won't be able to VTube either since I don't want to show my fucking fatass face. I would be able to VTube in January if my fucking PC wasn't a potato...

An 8-bit potato, yes...but a potato nonetheless.

As 2024 E.N.Ds, Pt. 1...

"Part 1" because this probably won't be my last entry for 2024...

1. In need of urgent support

I have a Ko-fi and Throne up, like a "real" streamer (as if?). I guess that's supposed to be a good thing, but I just feel shitty about it considering what I went through about six months ago. Just pure shit. Ripe shite. Why yes, I am sorry.

But it's true. I need help again. So much help. I appreciate anything you can give; reposts, mentions, donations...Everything helps.

2. My writing sucks so fuck it, I guess

I'm putting writing on hold, as I mentioned a bit above, for the foreseeable future. I'll probably just try to worldbuild until my eyes bleed tears of sadness (well more sadness) since I plan to stop writing fiction.

...Fuck, I hate this plan.

We'll see how it works two fucking weeks from now...puh.

3. Still doing test streams

I did another test stream three days ago. They're going...well. I guess. This 8-bit potato can only but so much but...at least I can stream, dammit.

I plan to do another probably before Christmas hits.

And for the record, I probably won't be putting my videos on demand on Twitch. I plan to put the archive on YouTube along with more vids once I get around to fucking making them...with my fatass face...

4. Happy fucking holidays

Christmas is next week. I literally know nothing about the other holidays around this time and no, I won't look it up at the moment. So, happy holidays. I guess.

Take care of yourself, ev'ryone. I hope...at least some things are going better for you than they are for me.

Published by Mar Qaroll