I honestly hate being black and weird

Disclaimer!!!!: I am not anti-black, nor would I want to be another race. I simply want to be accepted in my own niche.

BACK STORY: Im a loner, I hate people and i live in AL so it''s hard to find people in the same scene as me. Thats why i make friends online. Recently I made my skin color my regular skin tone instead of regular colors and instantly notice the change. Idk why but it's like Alternative people set standards to things that shouldn't have them' Ive been in the alt community since i was 6 ive seen so many different kinds of people come and go out of so many styles but now its narrowed down to like 2 styles. that com-girl look (with the big eyelashes, twisted nose conturing, big septum etc) or trad goth which i have no probelms with trad goth but like it's changed and usually when talking to most of em theyre PHONIES, AND also that 4-han girl bullshit idk man. Now and days even outcasts out-cast other outcasts and its CRAAAAZY. One time i tried to be friends with this one guy who invited me to play games with his other friends "mind you we all like metal" they were talking about bands n such and then me (being the encyclopedia for bands of all genres) starting yapping about some too BUT THEN i got the cold shoulder while the other girls got praised for listening to fuvking Radiohead. another time when i had to log off to go work i got off and noticed they were online playing Rate my avatar and i joined and they had a booth, to which i joined and the booth was like "rating your spotify wrapped" and i went up and was like heyyy yall ykk and i gave them my wrapped.. MY WRAPP WASSS 1)Tyler the Creator 2) Larval Therapy 3) Slayer 4) Gargbage 5)Nailbomb- Which isn't bad but like they were like trashing it and REALLY fucking bullying me like straight up. They were like saying it's trash, go fuck urself poser which isnt close to true TRUST ive lied about things but i take pride in music AND they blacklisted me from the booth and their group now im like lonley asf....

Being black and alt is not for the weak, u have judgemental people, other simple minded black people, racists and other shit, not saying other POC's or hell even Non POC's don't have this issue but speaking from expeiences its is not for the weak. Id like to find more people into grindcore, mince, noise, post punk, russian shoegaze, or like artists like yves tumor, alein fucker, death grips, machine girl etc. Id also like to connect with other people with this issue..I love breaking sterotypes it's fun and i love ot be different.