My guinea pig just died.

i should've rlly expected this to happen, and i did. just, not to the youngest one.

Nycto was always really rowdy and full of energy, and would NEVER like to be in his bin, never, and you know, if i was forced to live in a box, i would want to jump out and run around more often too.

we got him and his brother (not sure if they're actually related) about 2 years ago now. it makes me upset that nycto is probably going first, and for a fucking stupid reason that makes me wanna bash my head against a wall. Nycto is YOUNGER than marshall, so why did HE have to die first.

my dad hates when Nycto jumps out of his cage and runs around the house. i let him do it because his cage is honestly reallly small, and he needs somewhere to run and explore, and if he wants food or water, we get him back to his bin, same thing for going to sleep.

unfortunately, this morning i woke up to my mom saying something was wrong with nycto, and he was sleeping on his side. i thought that he was just extremely exhausted and got bad sleep, but he looked fluffy, and exhausted.i picked him up and even though he was alive,he was so. so slow. he let me hold him while he was on his back. he never lets me do that, they dont like being held that way, ever. it was fucking scary and i didn't know how to react. i woke up my sister and showed her nycto and she started crying . i held it in for the most part, but the second i left the house and was walking down the block to the bus, i just wept. i dont like letting myself cry around other people, so honestly i'd rather let myself mourn alone. i do that with a lot of things anyways. i hate showing people my pain, my problems, all of that. i dont like it.

i genuinely think when i come back home today my poor baby will be dead and gone. before i left i gave him a nice kiss on the head and i still feel like i can smell him on my hands. i wonder if marshall will know nycto is gone. (my other guinea pig)

we showed him to marshall briefly, and marshall tried squeaking to nycto. and nycto didn't feel like talking, at all. he hardly squeaked, and when he did, he sounded in pain. i wanna take him to the vert so bad but that's on my mom if she even has the money.

something small but kinda cute abt nycto is how one of the last pictures i have of him (that i took a few days ago) is him sleeping underneath the christmas tree with his girlfriend. btw, his girlfriend isnt ACTUALLY Another guinea pig.

around like 2 months ago during the end of october we set up our chtistmas tree, and underneath we put a little chubby girl elf, the kind where the thing has beads inside to make it sit, and she also had little bells on her elf shoes, and nycto would always run under the tree to play with them, and it was his favorite thing to do for some reason. he also liked keys and other jingly things, and that made him happy. poor baby. i hope he's going on dates with his girlfriend right now. i dont even think he's all there. it makes me so upset.

I love you nycto. cant believe you wont be scampering around once i come back home from school today.

-Cozmite