Report Blog Entry
I. It's free to be kind.
It absolutely costs no money to not say something that can cause harm to others. It's also painless and easy to listen when someone in earnest says "hey, this causes me harm" and to say "I'm sorry; I'm kind enough to express my sentiment in a fashion that doesn't cause you harm" because you agree, you don't want to cause anyone undue harm for their unchangeable existence. If I ever do or say anything that causes harm, please let me know. I am not a nice person by any means, but I am fiercely kind. I want the best for this community as a whole, and especially I want the best for people who I have taken the time to friend.
II. The block button is also free.
It is the year 2021 Anno Domini and no one is requiring us to allow people in our social circles who are toxic and obstinately defensive about their toxicity. If you have to write an entire missive discussing why should be able to be toxic while currently ignoring a large group of people waving red flags regarding your toxicity, you need to look at you, not everyone else.
III. Humanity is a marketplace of ideas, but even at a flea market, no one buys the shit-stained blanket.
A differing of opinions on things that have a spectrum of view is always welcome. We can heartily discuss things like how governments should use taxes, or the quality of different kinds of art. There is no room for discussing things like "should we give people who espouse views of White Nationalism room to share those views" or "should trans people have the same rights as us normal people" because those don't have a strange gray area of nebulous uncertainty. (And if you were wondering where the black and white of those viewpoints are, get the fuck out, you should know NO there's no room for white nationalism and YES trans people are people holy shit)
IV. I'm not falling into the paradox of tolerance.
The paradox of tolerance notes that if a society is tolerant without limit, its ability to be tolerant is eventually seized or destroyed by the intolerant. In this circle of friends—which currently is large but often trimmed, analyzed and vetted—if you cannot agree with the following statements enthusiastically, then you can (preferably quietly) get fucked:
- Black lives matter.
- Trans lives matter.
- We lift up BIPOC and LGBTQ+ voices.
- There is no room for anti-semitism.
- We stand for the systemically oppressed.
- We will never judge someone for something they can't change.
V. There is no time limit on when you need to express anything. And words are also free.
It will almost always be better to give yourself time to compose your thoughts and craft what you want to say intentionally and with purpose, especially if it's serious. I understand that some people are sharers who use the instantaneous feedback of social media to validate their feelings, feel less alone, or otherwise help their mental health by sharing into the etherial void of social media. But no written work has never not benefitted from a quick once-over to make sure whatever you're saying is precisely capturing what you're trying to say. "But this is just silly social media, who cares what I say or how I say it?" Own your words. If you have to say something on social media, you also should be considerate enough to both yourself and your audience to be as precise as possible with the message you're trying to convey. Your words should not be a hand-grenade of emotion. It should be a sniper rifle.
SpaceHey is a new beginning for social media. I'm not going to let my portion of this place fall into the same pitfalls and potholes that I fell into on other social media sites. I don't need everyone to like me. I need to know me and my friends are on the same foundational plane of decency. Everything else is a wonderful, magical spark of joy.
Comments
Displaying 3 of 3 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
Kari
"Paradox of tolerance," Very eloquently put! I agree wholeheartedly :)
Ms. LC Webs
I regret that I have but 2 kudos to give.
zgzag
I love this post, thank you for writing it out. Now that a lot of us have had 10+ years of forums, social networks, and other ad-hoc internet/irl groups, there's a lot of personal experiences we can learn from about moderation and expression!