Growing up SUCKS ! ! !

Why the FUCK do things feel like they're passing by so FUCKING fast?!

I feel like it was just A YEAR ago when I was trapped indoors and doing online school!!

It's not like I don't have friends IRL- I do!! But it's just not the sameeee!!!

THEY DON'T GET MY REFERENCES AND THEY ALL PROBABLY THINK I"M FUCKING CRAZYYY!!!

Many of them are bigoted and I'm scared I'll be outed!

I have friends that I'm open to, but they're a year above me and are graduating!! 

WHY CAN'T LIFE JUST STOP AND LET ME ENJOY IT FOR A MOMENT?!?!

EVERYTHING FEELS SO FLEETING AND I'M SCARED I'LL NEVER BE AS HAPPY AS I WAS EVER AGAIN!!!

I miss how I was before, I miss being carefree... I'm slowly approaching adulthood and it all seems so scary.. I feel like I'm so unready compared to my peers, I feel defective, wrong, stupid... I don't know what I want to be, I did at one point but it's not an option now... fuck, I wish I was still as determined as I was years ago when I'd actually put effort into my future and not just rant about how pathetic I am on the internet. I feel like I'm screaming into the void. I feel trapped in this liminal state between two major stages in my life, like I'm just too sacred to take that final leep into the unknown.