one day i'll only see you in the mourner of my eye

one day i'll only see you in the mourner of my eye

they say you never know, and i was foolish to think i did. i guess that's just what i do now. i've sucked out your love for me in whispered breaths of foolish jokes and stories that bore you, bore you to death, our death. and no deal with the devil, no ritual or sacrifice can bring us back. you sit there by our hospital bed, the creeping realization that the life support of avoidance wont last for much longer sending shivers up your spine.

my throat is sore from screaming and hoarse from talking, i talk and i type and you're just there. i am a explosion and you are bulletproof, but we are not. i used to think you were the only person who truly loved me, now i wonder if having known what it's like to love me, you are the only person who thinks less of me than myself. i feel like never getting close to anyone ever again, because who can be that close the real me and not get sick of it. 

maybe that's why i have no best friends. i thought you were my best friend though, my partner in crime, i thought we would take everything on together, the way we were supposed to, the way i had planned. a library of plans. of christmas gifts and handwritten letters and everything we were. of lipstick stains and bouquets of roses and everything we could be. 

he says you look like a piece of art to display, i'm content to hang in your gallery. when i die i will haunt the park where we had our first date and the room where we shared our first kiss, and over time i will fade into the shadows, because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and that ever will, now that you've taught me the bitter truth. you're still the girl all the boys wanna dance with and i'm just the boy who had my chance and lost it.