Fish of the Day 44 - I do NOT got that sunfish in me

Oh dear. Today's fish of the day is the ocean sunfish. Hm..

Ocean sunfish facts:

- Oh my goodness. The ocean sunfish (aka... Mola mola. Only fun thing about this fish) may just be the worst fish ever. I love all fish except for this... thing................ There are many words to describe this odd creature, but "useful" or "important" does not come to mind.  Let me explain.

- Firstly, one of the few actually cool facts about this fish: they are the heaviest bony fish in the world. It can weigh around 5,000 pounds. Additionally, a baby ocean sunfish can fit in your hand and is around the size of a green pea. ANYWAY...

- Scientists debate how they even move. See those giant fins? They do nothing. See that tail fin? Nuh uh... Their tail fin grows and folds in on itself forever, so its basically useless. It also doesn't have a swim bladder which is the thing most fish (except for IT and a few deep-sea dwelling creatures) have to give them the right buoyancy and make them float properly. This means they need to constantly swim (somehow), or else they'll sink. And... if they get too close to the surface? They'll just start floating on top of the water. Apparently they enjoy this, though. And at least this gives sea birds the opportunity to eat parasites off of them! Mmmm... fine dining. Parasitic critters served on the equivalent of nature's plate: flat, somewhat white and round, and so dumb it could be inanimate. 

- Why are these called sunfish to begin with? Jellyfish are this thing's main food source, which doesn't even have much nutritional value. Scientists speculated that these wretched fish used photosynthesis to get energy, because jellyfish probably couldn't fuel such a huge creature. Obviously this isn't true, but with how dumb and stupid these things are, they could probably count as a plant. So... I see where they were coming from.

- It can't chew food either. You'd think a jellyfish would be easy to chew, but I guess not. They gotta suck their food in and out until it eventually gets mangled enough from scraping against the beak-like teeth to be swallowed.

- Speaking of food, the ocean sunfish tastes AWFUL. No flavor and has the texture of tires. It doesn't have many predators due to it's size, but most of them see sunfish as a toy more than a meal. Seals have been seen biting off it's fins for fun and using it (unsure whether "it" refers to the fins or the fish itself?) as a frisbee. I would imagine that if a sunfish were to really be eaten for food, that'd be a struggle meal. Ironically enough, freshwater sunfish are known to be pretty tasty.

- This fish's main two survival strategies are: 

Laying enough eggs to outnumber whatever predators they have. They create so, so many offspring that there are too many to deal with.

Lacking nerves in like, 70% of their body, so huge bites like this don’t really affect them.

- I see no appeal in this fish, but in all seriousness... all insults aside... I have to respect how hardy this fish can be. They are built for survival against all odds, and they are thriving (sort of. They are threatened... still better than endangered!) despite being so... unique.. that's impressive. 

I do not got that sunfish in me. Maybe you do. I do NOT.. 

(Please don't take this too seriously if you love mola molas 😭 i'm exaggerating a lot of this; all fish are cool, but there's always gonna be a least fav. It was kinda fun coming up with insults for this thing... but it doesn't truly deserve them. Sorry, ocean sunfish!)