Kanye West - Through The Wire

period of time i associate with this song: april 2022

music player i was using at the time: iphone 11 w/ evermusic

back when i was in 8th grade, around 2021-2022, i was REALLY into "underground" hip-hop; i put underground in quotes bcuz that referred to MF DOOM, j dilla, and nujabes, and you'd have to be out of your mind to call them underground. like yea sure the average zoomer doesnt know who j dilla is but its not like NOBODY knows who he is

the moment US history ended i was quick on my feet to get out of that classroom, dash down all three flights of stairs and bike my ass home. and i'd put this song on a lot. i was absolutely OBSESSED with this beat. as a young aspiring producer i wanted to make a beat that evoked the same feelings that this beat did. idk what any of that has to do with biking home from middle school; thats just what i tend to think of when i hear this song

Tatsuro Yamashita - The Door Into Summer

period of time i associate with this song: july - august 2021

music player i was using at the time: iphone 11 w/ evermusic

around maybe april of 2021, i had standardized testing which i had to physically show up to school for (i was doing virtual school at the time) and in the testing room i met this boy. we'll call him david (that's not his real name). i thought david was cool and i wanted to be friends with him, but being the socially awkward tween i was i didn't know how to even be near him without feeling weird. but next thing i know he was talkin to me about overwatch and outfits nd shit. but right before i got to "hey i think ur cool whats ur discord so we can talk" i held the door open for some other kids and he walked right past and i never saw him again

over the summer i daydreamed about hanging out with him, but those daydreams soon became something more. i didn't just want to be his friend, i wanted to be his boyfriend. i wanted all the things that 13 year old me thought was romantic. holding hands, hugging, all that. that boy was my first ever boy crush; that was the first time it occurred to me that i didn't have to be straight.

even though i only ever saw him once, i think i owe a significant amount of my self discovery to him. if i never realized i was bisexual, i probably never would have realized i was trans either. so thank you david. you don't remember me, but i very well might remember you for the rest of my life. you never even meant to do it, but i'll never forget what you did for me.

Project Pat - Take da Charge

music player i was using at the time: iphone 13 w/ evermusic

not exactly proud to admit it but i first heard of this song thru a luke blovad tiktok. sry guys :(

specifically its the one they posted on july 9, 2023, and their fit was a homer simpson shirt with big black jeans. i feel like that video was my sleeper agent code and ever since then ive never had my swag off since. never once worn a pair of jeans my size since

they was my number one fashin inspo at the time, mostly cuz i aint have nobody else to model my fits after but they really had ts on. i wanted to be just like them. i was layerin my pirate shirt with a black long sleeve underneath in hot ass florida weather cuz of them. and even tho none of my fits at the time looked even close i still felt like the shit

i never really HAD swag until the fateful day where i snagged my legendary southpole shirt and my first pair of big ass jorts, but that month or so between realizing my potential and that day was like a little period of growth. i had realized something new about myself. i was a fashion mf. and as a reward, the thrift gods had bestowed upon me my first truly hard outfit. they told me i was ready to put that shit on.

specifically i remember a certain fit and a certain moment. it was mid-afternoon in october and i was in the school bathroom washing my hands. i was wearing a black shirt with a skull n bones (that i've since regifted to a friend), a long-sleeved dark gray undershirt, my trusty size 52 liberty blues jeans (which actually held the record for my biggest jeans by waist until around a month ago when i stumbled upon these size 54 red kaps), my black canvas jordan 4s, and if i'm not mistaken my black saggy beanie. if you had asked me at the time, i probably wouldn't have said it was my favorite outfit, but it sure was a good outfit and i was proud of it.

i had already realized i was transfem at that point, but at that point in time the incongruence between my gender identity and my excessively masc presentation hadn't set in yet. ignorance sure was bliss.

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - 1st of Tha Month

period of time i associate with this song: december 2023

music player i was using at the time: iphone 13 w/ evermusic

i actually have comparatively little to say about this song than the previous ones. yea i was gettin into bone thugz last year so thats why i associate bone thugz with that time period

i still post a bulletin w this song every 1st of tha month :3

Paul Wall / Kanye West - Drive Slow

period of time i associate with this song: august 1, 2024 - august 4, 2024

music player i was using at the time: sony walkman mp3 player

i was on a cruise ship a little while back and i remember wakin up real early to meet up w my parents 4 breakfast n puttin this song on. wasnt even that long ago so i can still remember what i was wearin: my g-unit shirt and my baggy blue sweatpants. literally the only reason i associate this song with that time period