Hai! (English Version)

HIII EVERYONE, I'm doing this at 2 in the morning in my country, but I still wanted to comment a few things so if you want to read a blog of a guy who is depreciated, Well welcome! Have a seat ;)

Well for starters... It's hard to be a Spanish speaker in a place where everyone speaks English, I'm trying to join this wonderful world of Spacehey to meet more people and make friends, And I find only English people ╯︿╰

I don't dislike them, I just want a Spanish speaker to chat better, If you are reading this and you are English, We can be friends if you like me, If not then no xd

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But well, having covered that topic.... Have you ever felt that life, no matter how much you want it to smile at you, the opposite happens? You try everything, socialize, be more cheerful, leave all the bad things and the past behind and you just can't? Well if this happens to you I'm with you ;)

This year started super amazing, At the end of last year I was starting to feel better, I was improving in many things and I felt great, All this thanks to a person .... That I still love to overflowing, AAAAHHH.

The thing is that I want to make a reflection with all this and see if you have been in a situation like this before, so I don't feel lonely at least in this :'v 

And well, let's start with.... Self-Sufficiency (Or however it's written)

The thing is that lately I've been feeling this way a lot for different reasons, It's really horrible, To think that you're not enough for a person, That you didn't give 100% when you should have and more was needed, To think: “If only I had been more...” Or “If only I could...” It eats your mind and it's not very recommendable, I'm trying hard to stop doing it, but as much as I can, I don't know how to let it go.... Any tips? SJSJDSKJD

I really feel good expressing all this here, There is a person I love very much who has listened to me as much as I have listened to her, However I don't want to always tell her these things because it's tiring and I know it, That's why I want to improve both for me and for her, Because I really feel like a failure in matters of love, I don't know what was the moment when everything started to go so wrong.... I just want to be a better person and achieve my personal goals together with the person I love and I really appreciate her talking to me, I just want her love, Affection and appreciation.... But of course we are in real life and people change over time and over the years, And that really terrifies me :/...

I've always been a kind, Calm and nice person, I've had no problem with almost no one in terms of fights and I'm proud of myself for that, But there are certain things that have happened and that I've done from ignorance that have made me think if I'm a really good person.... I don't want to sound stupid by saying this, But I really thought I could achieve an almost impossible goal, Next to her, But things just didn't happen that way, I want to scream, Cry and create a time machine to tell my past self to avoid what happened this year, While it wasn't all bad, The way she suffered I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I also suffered but I simply care more about her health and well being, I still can't believe that things ended up like this, Haven't you ever imagined that certain things happen in your life and in someone else's, and you just don't believe it or assimilate it even though it happened? That's exactly what's happening to me right now, And I hate it.

“I'm not enough” ‘I'm a failure as a boyfriend’ ‘What did I do to make all this happen to me?’ Things like that come to my mind out of nowhere and they're such loud and unbearable voices that I end up crying a lot thanks to that, And the crazy thing is that at the end of it all, The refuhio I manage to find at the end of the tunnel is.... In it.

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If you read this J, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry for getting you this far, I'm so sorry for those nights you stayed up crying and even though I could have done something, I didn't know and did nothing.... I really carry this kind of thing on my shoulders to my grave, I'm just sorry for all those times I hurt you without realizing it, I'm sorry for everything.... I'm sorry.