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This is going to talk about suggestive stuff(it's nothing too explicit but just a warning for people who don't wanna hear about it)
So I had recently got a boyfriend, I met him through my best friend but both me and best friend barely knew the guy, so I didn't expect any weird or personal conversations to happen between them, especially when me and BF started going out a few weeks ago. Well last night my best friend messaged me, asking me if I cared about "size" because my boyfriend wanted to know. Not only was this a weird thing to hear from my best friend, but it originating from my boyfriend made me SUPERRR uncomfortable. Instead of him coming to me about an intimate question, he went to her. I know it's an embarrassing question to ask your partner, but if you were too embarrassed to ask me then it shouldn't have been brought up at all. Not just that, but I felt s*xualized(if that makes sense) because we have only been dating for about 2 1/2 weeks, I don't want him to think of me that way this early in a relationship, but when i brought up to my best friend how uncomfortable it made me to be talked about that way, she brushed it off and made it seem like I was crazy, my boyfriend however did apologize but he fails to see the part that made me uncomfortable, it was an empty apology.
I don't know what to do about my bestfriend/boyfriend and I would love some advice on how to approach them with this topic and for me to be taken seriously when I say I'm uncomfortable. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Stella<3
Hi girly. I'm so sorry abt that. I absulutely understand how u feel. He should have asked u abt it and not to ur bestfriend. If you guys are dating for 2 weeks and he is already wondering abt this there must be smth wrong. He clearly wants to do it with u bc he wouldnt ask that if he didnt. I think u should maybe talk to ur parents abt it. Personally if my bf would do that i would most likely break up. But it's up to you just remember u are worth so much<33
Lovely
It's strange that he doesn't get why that makes you uncomfortable. I don't know how old you both are but conversations about intimacy happen in relationships but not like this at all. It's not wrong to wanna talk about it and if you feel it's too early to be having those talks, make that a boundary, and later on you can confront it. But other than that his way of going about it was practically childish. Both of them put you in a really weird position of dealing with your boyfriend's insecurity and lack of security in talking to you about this stuff but also your best friend just inviting themself into your sex life (which depending on your age you might not be ready for at all).
Just saw you're 16 so imma assume everyone involved is the same age. Don't feel pressured to answer any questions about what you feel sexually to anyone even your partner. You can just straight up say no to any questions that make you uncomfy. Anyways hope it's a little better :)
Theo :]
first of all, your feelings are valid. And youre def not crazy because i'd be uncomfortable too wth, ESPECIALLY since youve only known each other for 1/2 weeks. i think you should confront your bf about it again and set a clear boundary, even if it seems harsh because sometimes thats the only way they'll take you seriously. Tell him how you feel without sugarcoating it and tell him that him doing things like that affect your relationship greatly. Like you barely know the guy. I know what ive said youve already done but you might need to be more assertive about these things to your bf and if he stil doesnt listen and keeps making you uncomfortable, i think you should break it off. Good luck o7