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I dont even find it silly anymore, im just sick of it. the guilt I feel after sitting on youtube for 5 hours and not doing a single productive thing is killing me. I know its my choice but its like im stuck in my bed! This proves that I could never live alone since it will only end up like this. The moment im home alone all my hobbies are abandoned and I just brainwash myself with tv. I dont even eat anything the whole day. its like im actually rotting.ย
So in conclusion I cant even enjoy my time at home. I hate being at school and at home.ย
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francis, fran
i've been through this a multitude of times... i never truly escape it.
we live in circumstances that provides mind-numbing gratification for free 24/7. there exists no protection against this overstimulating, overwhelming force. this is not your fault.
poor habits and poor decisions are 'your fault.' but don't forget about the world at large.
some advice from a veteran:
- make your own food and eat it. take showers. take naps. exercise (or don't). keep a diary (you're already doing that here!). take care of yourself. these basic forms of self care keep you in touch with natural gratification.
- do whatever you need to do to express the frustration of your situation. think about it and write it out (once again you've already begun). but try to seriously think objectively: is this my fault? why am i doing these things? what even is 'motivation'? does motivation exist, or is it imaginary? what counts as 'productive' to me? what do i actually want for myself? what about the circumstances of my life have led me here? what is the nature of addiction? etc. introspection does not cure suffering... but it helps cope and might become productive.
- read manga instead of watch youtube videos. change the type of videos you're watching. etc. basically just change your addiction to something which is at least slightly better.
hope this helps!! and i hope that your life gets better :)
this decently helped me!! and ive finally chosen to work on my poor habits lol (its probably the New Years the are influencing me)
by Robinึด๐ค; ; Report
๐ป๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธ๐ด ๐ข๐ฟ๐ช๐ช๐๐ผ๐ธ
Are you sure you aren't dealing with mental health issues?
wellllll... isnt that still kinda my fault?
by Robinึด๐ค; ; Report
not completely! sure, maybe you have some habits that are toxic to your mental health, but they are fixable! :)
by ๐ป๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธ๐ด ๐ข๐ฟ๐ช๐ช๐๐ผ๐ธ; ; Report
once I'll find the motivation maybe then
by Robinึด๐ค; ; Report