remembering why i left

i speak too much to people.

i overshare everything to new people i meet, and it ends up ruining things for me in the long run, because i dont know how to hold back.

i hate lying to people that im dating someone when i know im not. 

i hate having so many angry feelings about VA when i know that its not right nor is it justified at all to feel that way towards her

i hate that i told AZ the worst things about me, how much i starved myself for my ex, yet she still comforted me through it. i appreciate her, but along with my ex, i stopped talking to her too.

i shouldn't be going to these people every day. but thats what i started to do.

my circle of close friends is so small. at one point or another, they all stop talking to you, or i get home and for some reason all the happiness fades, although i should be happy to come from an exhausting day of school, yet being back always sends me into sorrows. Why?...

im not someone who is supposed to vent. im the person who is supposed to listen and help, just like i did with VA. and i felt good about myself. i felt happy that i was making change. helping and sharing makes me feel good. i hate. i hateihateihateiHATE. adding onto peoples already existing files of agony. expecially, VA's.

she is the epitome of having so many problems you drown in it. 

why would i stay around her if ive become that person too?  im not going to make my friends mental state worse. that's why i have to leave. i cant go back until i stay happy for a week.