AUTISM TIME!!!

So I know I just did a JJBA ranking yesterday but I really want to rank the parts. (hopefully this blog will be shorter than yesterday, took me an hour and a half to write it all T-T) Obviously I'm not including part 9 bc it isn't done yet!!! Although I do like part 9, especially Dragona <3

Dragona my beloved <3

1. Part 7 - Steel Ball Run
2. Part 5 - Vento Aureo/Golden Wind
3. Part 4 - Diamond is Unbreakable
4. Part 6 - Stone Ocean
5. Part 3 - Stardust Crusaders
6. Part 2 - Battle Tendency
7. Part 8 - JoJolion
8. Part 1 - Phantom Blood

SPOILERS FOR JJBA!!!

Part 7 - Steel Ball Runスティール・ボール・ラン

Steel Ball Run is the best part of JJBA hands down. I've already covered my love for the story a little but holy heeeell this part is amazing. First it has two of the BEST JJBA characters, President Funny Valentine and Gyro Zeppeli (Gyro my beloved <3). Not to mention it has some of the best tertiary characters like Diego Brando, Hot Pants, and Mountain Tim. It has some of my favorite character designs like Oyecomova (Oyecomova my beloved <3), Ringo Roadagain, and Pocoloco. Not to mention the stands that these characters have, they're all so unique. D4C is of course one of my absolute favorites along with TATOO YOU!, Boku no Rhythm, and Scary Monsters. The only way to make SBR a better part is to let Gyro live and make him the main character forever (kidding).

Part 5 - Golden Wind黄金の風

Golden Wind is the best animated part of the series so far. It takes the concepts and ideas of Diamond is Unbreakable (that of a team of characters) and takes it to the next level. Bruno's Team are some of the most charismatic characters I've ever seen. My personal favorite is Narancia but I also love Mista and Bruno. Not to even mention the memorable antagonists, Ghiaccio is one of my favorite characters in any media and I love the Paris line. 

Ghiaccio isn't the only one of course, I also love Nero, Doppio, and Pesci. Part 5 has the best stands in the entire series, GER, Sticky Fingers, Sex Pistols, Purple Haze, and that's just Bruno's team that doesn't include Black Sabbath, Metallica, Green Day, and Notorious B.I.G. I love the dynamic within the team itself and the inclusion of Trish (who I personally consider part of Bruno's Team) is amazing too. Not to mention Giorno's design at the end is awesome, I wish we could've seen more Giorno before the universe reset. 

Part 4 - Diamond is Unbreakableダイヤモンドは砕けない

I prefer Part 5 over Part 4, but if I had to choose to only watch 1 part forever, it would be part 4. Part 4 has the best setting in any piece of media I've ever seen, Morioh-Cho. Morioh is beautifully crafted to feel eerie yet somehow nostalgic with coated with a beautiful set of paint, I think personally that it is impossible to make Morioh look ugly. Yoshikage Kira is the best villain in JJBA, hands down. I have never been so creeped out than seeing Kira fondle a hand, than licking sauce off of it. It's seriously fucking creepy and it makes me feel uncomfortable every time I see it. You can definitely see the American Psycho inspiration but I love Araki's twist on the Patrick Bateman style character. Yes, he's still a loser but now unlike Bateman, Kira is always almost always in control. I also love his character flaws, such as his obsessive nature demonstrated when he literally was about to kill Koichi but noticed his sock was on wrong and had to fix it. This lead to Koichi surviving against Kira. The Morioh Crusaders are also fantastic, it's hard to determine who exactly counts as a Morioh Crusader but for my purposes I'm referring to Josuke, Koichi, Okuyasu, Jotaro, Rohan, and at the end Hayato joins. Each and every one of these characters are extremely unique and unforgettable. Okuyasu has the most powerful stand in the part (eventually being surpassed by GER in part 5) but is literally just too dumb to use it. Koichi is a little goober who's scared of everything, but eventually becomes more brave with the development of his stand, Echoes. Jotaro is basically Josuke and Koichi's mentor, he's kind of on the sidelines. Rohan is one of the best characters and initially fights Josuke (see AUTISM TIME: JOJO RANKINGS for more). I could write on and on about part 4, just know it is an amazing part.

Part 6 - Stone Ocean ストーンオーシャン

Part 6 is the newest part to be animated, finishing in 2023 and had one of the worst rollouts of the anime's history. However, I am going to be ignoring all of that because I didn't start watching Stone Ocean until after it had finished and so that has never colored my view of the part. Part 6 is another one of my favorite parts however it's one I don't go back to very often for obvious reasons if you've read it. I love the characters, especially FF and Jolyne, the dynamic between all of them is so amazing. I'm not a huge fan of the enemies in this part though, some are cool like Bohemian Rhapsody and Dragon's Dream but then you have fights like the Thunder McQueen fight which I didn't like at all. Same with the Rikiel fight. It does introduce some pretty interesting stands though like Green, Green Grass of Home and Made in Heaven. Overall, the reason I don't come back to this one very often is because of the ending. I felt an overwhelming sense of dread watching everyone fight and die against Pucci, and while good ended up winning over evil, Emporio triumphed over Pucci, it felt like a hollow and empty victory. Everyone in the original universe was dead, now there was a new universe freed from Pucci's influence, and thus ends the fight between the Joestars and evil. I will never forget how I felt hearing "My name is Emporio". 

Part 3 - Stardust Crusaders スターダストクルセイダース

So why have I ranked part 3 so low despite it's popularity? I don't particularly dislike Stardust Crusaders but it's length makes it awful to watch. This is a common point where people stop watching because of just how long it is. I 100% understand that it is supposed to be a trip across continents and thus is supposed to feel long, but that doesn't change how the pacing is bad. It lends itself to a villain of the week formula, the Stardust Crusaders go to a new place, oh my! there's a stand user!!! It gets very old very quickly especially with battles like the Lovers fight the Dark Blue Moon fight. This isn't to say that Stardust Crusaders is bad, far from it. It introduces the concept of stands to the JJBA universe and has some brilliant moments, characters, and fights. The Elder D'Arby fight is one I love especially because it forced Araki to go back to his Poker Under Arms days. It is a perfect fight with trickery, cheating, and a whole lot of bluffing. Another fight I absolutely love and would watch again 1000x times is the Death 13 fight. It's kind of terrifying how real the horror is because no matter what Kakyoin did, no one was going to believe a baby was trying to kill them. Alessi is a fight that I'm very conflicted with, Alessi as a character and as a villain works perfectly but then there's the scene with baby Polnareff and the woman. I really wish she wasn't a part of this fight because of how weird it all is. I remember one of my dad's main criticisms of JoJo's being that you know the characters are going to live, that Araki was too scared to kill off characters. Part 3 proves that wrong tenfold. In the Vanilla Ice fight we lose two Crusaders, Avdol and Iggy the dog (I will be reading Iggy the Stray Dog btw). Iggy's death specifically hits hard. Then the DIO fight, Kakyoin gets turned into a goddamn donut and Joseph almost dies. Overall, my opinion on Stardust Crusaders is very mixed, I recognize its greatness but I also know that other parts improve on it massively. 

Part 2 - Battle Tendency 戦闘潮流

Battle Tendency was the second part ever created and is a massive leap in quality from Part 1. It introduces my favorite Joestar, Joseph. I don't really have many feelings about Battle Tendency aside from a few moments, I'm very indifferent to it. I'll watch it every now and then but it's not really anything I seek out. Stand out moments are Caesar's death, the first Wamuu fight and the second Wamuu fight. My biggest gripe with Battle Tendency is the ridiculousness of it, ofc calling JJBA bizarre isn't exactly a new thought but this goes a bit too far in my eyes. I think Araki made Kars too powerful for his own good, in that he can't realistically be destroyed so you have to come up with some absolute bullshit to defeat him. Overall it's a good part, just a little lacking.

Part 8 - JoJolion ジョジョリオン

JoJolion is kind of a disappointment to me and so many other fans. JoJolion is by no means bad, but it definitely isn't Araki's best work. There are far too many characters to keep track of, I felt confused seeing people just pop up at random when I haven't seen them for like 40 chapters. Not to mention the stand battles were quite lackluster and so were the stands themselves. I can barely even recall the majority of them because they are just that forgettable. I have not reread JoJolion and I don't intend to for a while, it is the longest part in all of JoJo's and that would be fine if only the characters and plot were better. My biggest gripe with JoJolion is the fact that Jobin is not the main villain, I love Wonder of U as a stand but Toru is an awful villain that was barely set up at all, first appearing in chapter 76, out of 110 chapters. Not to mention how confusing and convuluted the stands are now, especially with Wonder of U. The concept of universal flows has been set up way before JoJolion but the flow of calamity is very hard to understand on first read. 

But, enough complaining about JoJolion, what are its strengths? The art is pretty amazing for starters. Norisuke, Urban Guerrilla, and Jobin's designs are all amazing in particular. I also like the JoJo for this part, Josuke (also known as Gappy to differentiate him from part 4 Josuke). The whole part focuses around Josuke and his quest to find out who he was. I also think the power of equivalent exchange is an interesting idea that definitely needs to be expanded upon more in the future. Overall, would I recommend JoJolion? Well I recommend all of JoJo's and JoJolion is no exception, everyone should read it at least once.

Part 1 - Phantom Blood ファントムブラッド

How JJBA ever became a successful franchise is beyond me. Phantom Blood is not good, it is the only not good part of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. I am not a part skipper but Phantom Blood is the reason so many people don't watch JoJo's. Phantom Blood was the reason I stopped watching JoJo's at first, this was around when Golden Wind was being released, I heard a lot of buzz about JJBA and wanted to try it. This was the first part I saw and I hated it. The only reason I ever returned to the series was because of a friend's recommendation. I've talked about how bad it is, but why is it that bad? Well, first of all is the characters. Every character is one note with very little room for arcs. Jonathan is a brave gentleman, Dio is a conniving villain, Zeppeli is an honorable teacher. It really gives "my first ever story" vibes. Also this part in particular is specifically why I tell people to never watched JJBA dubbed, the dubbed version of all of these characters are so annoying. I dislike Speedwagon (I know, heresy) because I watched the dub and how constantly annoying he was. 

There are some good things I can say about Phantom Blood though. The fights are pretty clever and show Araki's knack for creating thought out solutions for his characters. Specifically in the Bruford fight where Jonathan gets submerged, making him unable to breathe and unable to use his Hamon. Jonathan swims down to catch a trapped air bubble that allows him to use his Hamon underwater. Not to mention some choice lines of dialogue like DIO's speech about how many lives he's taken. 

Overall, should you watch Phantom Blood? Yes. I know I just said its not good but hear me out, Phantom Blood sets up everything and it has a mitigating factor. It is extremely short, I think the anime compresses it all down to 8 episodes. Don't be a dirty part skipper, watch part 1.