time is slipping by

TW(?): derealization(??) idk i don't want anyone to feel triggered

Disclaimer: i'm actually fine, but lately these thoughts have been haunting me.

I think that sadly many people can agree with me on this. 

I feel like time is moving so fast that as it does, i am petrified and can't do anything if not stand still and watch it pass. The past few years of my life were supposed to be "great", full of life and expierences that you only live in your teenage years, but why do i feel like i have accomplished nothing? 

As i try to think of old memories of mine, nothing comes up. It's like i'm trying to refresh the page of my mind for a useless amount of time, cause it does'nt matter how much i try, i can't remember anything particularly interesting. This mediocre life i'm "living", seems more like survival. Everybody seems moving, growing, developing in these people that they like, discovering hobbies and themselves. Meanwhile i stay here, incapable to do ANYTHING that will make my life different. 

It's terrible to say but i'm afraid i'll live as if i were in "Madame Bovary" or "Une vie".

I wanna do something "rebellious" but i always feel an invisible weight on me that doesn't allow me to react or do anything. 

Time moves and i stand numb. 

As if it wasn't enough i'm also so behind with school and stuff, and constantly feel like i have so many things to do and yet so little time, when in reality i do literally nothing if not thinking, complaining, eating and sleeping. 

Living the Teenage Dream!!!