i HATE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have this health class and were doing the obligatory  sex talk unit.

and honestly, i couldn't be more thankful.

i had an experience with sexual stuff in a past relationship, and it made me feel so dejected, and inhuman about my experiences. i kinda thought that everyone else around me made sex seem amazing and something to be proud of. its the exact opposite for me. i never. ever. want sex. at all. i hope i can stay by that rule. because i want that more than anything right now. to have abstinence.

im always scared that if i get into a new relationship, my partner will be too sexxed up and might force me into sexual situations like my last partner. its extremely scary to think about. and its not something i want.

tho, im not saying i don't want anything sexual, mainly what i mean is like..genital intercourse or like...anything that can give me an std. IF, and i mean IF i get in that situation. i want a toy or something, like a egg vibrator, something to stimulate from the outside without like..harming the inside of my body. i'd want to use that more than anything tbh.

i hate how nowdays everyone makes sex look SO COOOL!!!!!!!!! expecially in some scene songs i hear

typical scene song is like "SCENE SHAWTY WANNA FUCKKK!!!!! IM IN THE CLUB AND I WANNA FUCK!!!!! I GOT MONEY AND I DRINK AND SHIT!!! BITCH DONT WANNA FUCK WITH ME BECAUSE I DONT WANNA FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!" 

like i swear, every song is either, Clubs, sex, and money. at least they sound good and thats why i listen to them, but i usually hate the messages...

like...no, im not in the back of the club with my 1234567890098765432 scene bitches getting my sex on, im 15 years old and i just wanna go to a party and rave and  dance around, not have sex.... wtf >_<!!

Thats why Antonymph is the best scene related song ever, it's literally me. no sex, no drugs, no money flexxing, just silly and fun and INTERNET!!!!

i wish more kids nowdays strayed away from sex, and abstinence was more common. idk if i'll ever get a cute bf or gf who agrees with me on this, but i hope i do.