People are sweet and care!!

SO, something good happened recently over this weekend, and it made me actually feel really good today!

i have 2 free periods today so i'll be pretty bored, might write a lot of blogs

i posted a blog entry that was titled "nothing is ever that serious" and i spilled out a lot of my emotions about society and friends and hating my emotions, real edgy ik. writing those feelings out and getting them onto my blog felt good, but the thoughts in my head were just too overwhelming, and i didn't want to inflict my anger onto someone else, so i ended up s/hing again. im gonna try not to, and i made sure i made a lot of scars so i wont have anywhere else to scratch up.

and although i wrote that blog to get emotions out, unexpectedly, i actually got comments

i dont post my blogs expecting them to get any sort of traction, let alone 1 or 2 comments. its just to express emotion and get it out of my head onto something i can look back on. sort of like a public diary.

i got this pretty huge long comment from "ethernet" that said so many kind and genuinely meaningful words that made me feel less alone.

"it's become normalized to treat other people absurdly, whether to get a laugh or to fit in. it's like people have lost their will of keeping it together"

"try to make a balance, find time to have a routine where you can spend some hours alone and some with others. divide your time into the two parts of yourself you deem important. it is vital to be true to what you want, but also be gentle with yourself."

"just know there is someone out there that will be a perfect balance between your want for interaction but not everyday, constant discussion."

"i won't tell you how to live your life because that's counterintuitive & i am just another person on the internet. "

"growing is hard. being unsure is even worse."

that last line really sticks with me. idk why. Growing is hard, but being unsure is even worse.

like, not knowing where i need to go is worse than being afraid to do the right thing? i keep thinking abt it because i dont understand completely, yet i feel like its supposed to be really important.

but ethernet wasn't the only person, i had someone else on there by the name of "degrace" Who genuinely made me feel so much more valid about myself and my emotions specifically. like again, i felt less alone, and i  feel like a lot of the weird emotions i get are actually okay.

"You sound like a very normal person to me. Many people live with the same feelings, it just isn’t common to speak of them."

"don’t try to force the situation. Allow yourself to feel like you just want to be alone, and then at the very next day, you can go and spend time with people. "

"You seem like a very kind and sensitive person so believe me, there are people that like you."

 "it doesn't mean you dont like them, it just means you’re human and you sometimes get tired of social interaction. "

he's really sweet. really sweet and i apreciate it sm. these two both made me feel less alone, and it want even a lot of people. it just was the impact of what they said. so well typed out and just- .. it meant something. it means something to me and i keep thinking abt it.

although ,i never really thought i'd find my people. though, i actually found 2 new friends here i THINK on the same day! X and Patch :3 i talked to them both and X is SOOOO SWEET, i instantly got to know a lot abt her and i genuinely think shes the nicest person i know ATM thats in my life, love her, and Patch is SOO FRIGGIN COOL AND HE HAS THE SAME FAVORITE HYPERFIXATION ON AN MSI SONG THAT I LIKE AND IT MAKES ME RLLY HAPPY THAT PEOPLE LIKE STUFF THAT I LIKE AS MUCH AS ME, AND LIKE I LOVE HIS MUSIC TASTE??? he gave me a new favorite song to have my edgy AMV's in my head to and it makes me SQUEEE

i honestly wish BOTH of them wrote blogs so i could get to know more about them, because i think they're rlly cool. I think i rlly might want friends in my life in contrast to what i thought before

its crazy how one tiny random chance can change your entire view on something. :)

-Cozmite