TRIGGER WARNING:

ASSAULT & SEXUAL THEMES

& of course spoilers for the movie. if you would like to watch yourself, Pink Bun on Youtube has it :)

just got around to watching Malice@doll, been in a niche & creepy mood but was hesitant on this one considering the sexual themes tend to disturb me more than any gorey or horror aspect, especially considering it is one of the earlier usages of cgi in anime format

but i was pleasantly surprised !!! i also wasnt aware that Chiaki Konaka (writer for serial experiments lain & many beloved animes) worked on it until after i had finished it & that also explained a lot for me & settled my mind more in the sense that it wasnt made from the mind of someone gross but someone with real psychological intent. i have yet to fully digest it or dive into any other analysis of the 3 part creepshow but i really just loved every part of it. perfectly gross, perfectly gorey, with queer undertones so thick you kinda cant breathe for some parts of it. this piece of media felt very androgynous for how sex & femininely focused it is. very macabre & thought provoking.

these glass-like porcelain robots, or "Dolls", in a post apocalyptic underground city that is gritty, & in-humanly dominated. the Dolls are considered the lowly machines - because they are sex workers, & with the humans all gone do not have any purpose anymore - but still have an off limits & highly protected factor to them considering how in the hierarchy of this city, the higher-up robots have prioritized recognition & care to the Dolls, save for oil shortages after the fact of "most essential" first distribution, & do not harm them or discard them even in these circumstances. that is until Malice@doll is turned into a human via violation of an otherworldly grotesque half flesh, half robot monster that she assumingly conjured or hallucinated. She is elated when she wakes up & discovers she is human, shes warm, soft, & is capable of the feeling Happiness. she reminisces on her encounters with clients, while in the memory she is deadpan & seductive, she is watching herself in horror & pain of how she had actually been living her life. before, she was stoic yet caring, but very emotionless & technical to conversation, she becomes the complete opposite when turned human, she becomes inconsiderate of the wants of others because she wants them to be just like her, whole, warm, & happy, not gears & oil. she discovers that with a kiss, which is "all [she] can give", she can transform her Doll friends & peers into flesh & blood, but in a far more horrifying way. they have monstrous disfigurements & become self indulgent, to the point that their desires are figuratively, & literally, eating them alive. there is no longer order or hierarchy in the city & all hell breaks loose. there is only desire. this point in the movie is the most gendered & sexual regardless how horrific & near unrecognizable everyone has become. Malice@doll only comes to her senses after Heather@doll dies from a fatal wound, making her aware that everyone she loves is now finite & can be gravely hurt with no knowledge on how to treat or take care of these new bodies, realizing why the humans she once used to serve are not around anymore.

overall, her radicalization of a first glimpse into human nature, autonomy; & the horrors of consequence & selfishness. with human capability, no longer being a machine dedicated to pleasing others, can now please themselves, this specifically being thrown in your face when Malice@doll finds Doris@doll publicly, & shamelessly having sex with a lower machine, speaking to her "Do you see me, do you see what you do to me Malice?" but later is found to still be riding the same machine saying she is dull & unsatisfied, until she lays her eyes on the Admin, a higher machine, only then is she satisfied. seemingly a powerplay, taking back herself & having control in the sexual encounter for her own pleasure. before transformation, Doris is modest, devoted to order, & is the last to be transformed due to her horror of what had been done to her fellow Dolls, but had been the one to actually come to Malice on her own terms to be held by her & transformed with a kiss.

I have a lot to say about Doris' character, specifically why so much focus is on her & Heather & less-so on the other dolls & their infatuation with Malice.

but to move on

i say "this piece of media felt very androgynous for how sex & femininely focused it is" because the rest of the machines have no desire or even acknowledge the Dolls aside from Freddy, who still remains respectful in his transformation, & the Repairer, when upon inspecting a human Malice, is not a sexually charged encounter, it is medical & has no undertones of anything but that. yet every other machine that was transformed only had two reactions, sexually depraved & violent, as humans are, but specifically i am to believe it was an emulation of the men the Dolls were dealing with pre-apocalypse; but in a deranged setting of "anything goes". in an earlier scene when we see a human Malice watching her Doll self as an escort, it gives emphasis on the fetishes, & on the violence. she is seen at his feet, which is the most grueling reaction we get out of human Malice as she is making direct eye contact with herself in that moment, & we get flashing but lasting images of her being strangled & her face being cut. i am to think that once she realizes the widespread affects of EVERYONE having autonomy, wanting to spread the human condition, will put her back in the same place she was before, but with no one to protect her in this instance. shining light on every nuance with the baseline staying the same, sex & death. instinct & cycle.

all i can say about the doll-like ghostly child that lured Malice to this fate in the first place?

naivety personified i guess?

as for the entity that transformed her in the first place?

hell if i know

why all the humans are gone?

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the ending?

.....???

anyway... 

this was a genuine masterpiece. watch it if you think you can digest it, i love loaded horror media with meaning. can u tell i watched The Substance recently. 

IF U READ ALL OF THAT I LOVE YOIU

- veil :)