first blog ever

good morning, world! a few minutes ago, i found a favorite song to get addicted to this month which is Starling by Sarah Kinsley. read the lyrics and she said, "we'll never be those girls again," and IT BROKE ME. i'm a sucker for sadness porn (mental illness activity). besides being mentally ill, i am also a writer and i wrote this six months ago:

"A mistake. I am a blunder of a man and a woman’s good night. My body was in the shape of my mother’s guilt. My soul is a fire lightened by the match of my father’s anger and infidelity. I am so much of them and none at all. I fear that I am more of a sin than I was ever a daughter. I live in great terror. I am a great terror."

sadly, i still feel the same. i am a danger to myself and a disappointment to anyone else. but hey, i'm getting better at accepting that. i am also trying really hard to be better. little by little.

these days, i'm addicted to playing gacha games and club penguin and farm merge valley on discord. if anyone wanna add me there, my @ is eightflowerbed or my user id is 771823103860277269. i'm an extrovert and would love to have new friends that align with my interests. let's talk!

anyway, here's another day finding a job. I NEED A JOB REAL BAD. FUCK.