Future

I'm scared for the future. 

Recently, I talked to my Interpersonal Communication professor about colleges and career opportunities. I would like to go to a polytechnic school, one of the ones that jumps right into your major and gets you going. The thing is you kind of need to know what you want to major in to be able to progress in that kind of school. I have no idea. I say I would like to major in marine bio, but in reality the job opportunities with that kind of degree are slim. I do NOT want to become a high school teacher yapping about fish and how to measure the salinity of water. FUCK THAT. I want to be able to research and explore and create. I think my desire to create might interfere with what I do with my future. Let me explain.

I want to be creative, I want to make art, music, inspire thoughts and feelings, make people ponder things, but going to school for arts is kind of a waste of money, especially for me, where I know I won't have the drive to market myself and make a living off creating. Maybe I should leave that as a side hobby or something. 

My college options so far are good, I'd be ok with going to any of the schools I was accepted into. I'm just waiting to see which others I will be accepted in. I don't know, and that scares me. If I don't go into marine bio, I don't know what I will do. I could go into neuroscience, but I don't want to have to go to graduate school for years after my bachelors just to be able to get a job and make enough money. Idk, its kind of stressing me out. 

I want the future to work out and I know it will, but I can't help but worry about it. Whatever happens I can make it work, I'm just scared of all the wasted potential. I feel that everyone has so much potential if they can apply themselves and make shit happen, I guess its about their individual drive to reach for more. It makes me sad to think I'd be wasting my own potential by going to one school over another, when in reality I know most schools provide the same sort of education, its just a different experience. 

This has been quite a long entry, but I know getting it out and putting it to paper (this blog) will settle my nerves about it a bit. Anyways, back to working on my Psych classwork, deuces

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