ughh (vent and rant (double whammy))

my grades are fucking shit right now so i have to give my phone to my grandparents and sit at their house until my mom comes home. i was gonna tell her that my mental health is shit and that my motivation is also shit but i feel asleep before i could finish writing, and by the time i woke up she was home and pissed. and i feel like if i give her what i wrote now it wont necessarily help with anything. i hate being alive rn and i had to rush putting papers into my journal for my economics class ughhhhhh........ i wish i could just like go to sleep for a few days maybe then i'll feel better because life is kicking my ass.