short trans story

    I looked into the mirror. I hated what I saw. This small waist. This round face. This cute button-up nose. I hated all of it. My name is Nico and I'm a fifteen year old boy. At least, that's what I think I am. I don't think I've ever seen a person consider me as who I truly am. The Problem is, that I've been born a girl. And that ruined my whole life. I knew I was a boy. A boy trapped in a girl's body. The way my body looked hurt a lot, but not as much as the way others perceived me. At first glance, I looked like a boy. Short hair, men's glasses and flat chest. But it was all ruined when I spoke, or when others spoke.

       "Is it true you think you're a guy?" I don't think I'm a guy, I am one. "Haha, being a boy is so fun! " I know. You don't have to push the knife deeper in. "Did you know she thinks she's a guy?" I didn't ask you to tell them. "He- I'm sorry, she-" No. You got them right the first time. "Haha, how is it feeling?" I never said I was an it. I am not an object or an animal. "Do you know that no matter how many surgeries you have, you'll still be a girl." And how do you define a girl? Because if it's what's going on down in my pants and I get bottom surgery, I don't see what makes me a girl anymore. "Why are you trans?" I am not trans. I am a boy stuck in a girl's body. 

     People tend to think being trans is due to a choice. I think we shouldn't blame people for that, but we have to explain. Do you think that I would've chosen to get made fun of every day? Do you think I would've chosen to hate my body? Or do you think that the tears that fell whenever I felt like I was a girl were chosen too ?