When is it my turn to be wanted and loved?

When is it my turn to be wanted and loved?

When can I actually feel like someone cares about me?

Is it because I'm a schizophrenic psycho?

Is it because I don't know how to love?

Or because when I try to show love it's always hostile and creepy?

Is it because I don't even believe I'm a real human being?

Why can't I just normal?

I'm slowly slipping into a relapse and no one even notices.

I don't know why I even try anymore.

I am just a hallucination.

I am not a human.

My story is ending soon.

I will end everything I have worked hard for just to have peace and quiet.