big sad

I am getting closer to the end, still unsure of when that may be. I feel the dread and the hopelessness of God abandoning me, the feeling I used to feel is gone and I am most certainly going to hell. I have received too much good, much more than i deserve and i am uncomfortable. My body is able but my brain is inept, not allowing me to be my full potential. I feel like i have different personalities.

I am tired.