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What is ownership? What exactly is it that we are able to own? I breathe in air, but it isn't mine. Even when it's in my lungs, it isn't mine. Even once it's expelled from my own body, it isn't mine. 

I seldom contemplate this question as ownership has been a frequent focus of interest throughout my life. I wish to own things so that they are mine completely. I have always been a possessive child - stingy and unsharing of things I liked - I wanted everything good for my own. 

I have a dog. I would like to say that she is mine. Even when others pet her, she stands in a way of discomfort unless it is with me. I feel that I fully own her. But if she were to run around and turn over her side at the park, if she were this sort of dog, how mine would she be? Although I wasn't the one who brought her home or was there during her birth, I am the only one she ever wants to be with. That is what gives my ownership a firm seal. Even my mother took notice of when she ceased to belong to her, favoring me instead. 

I have frequently found myself doing this with people within my life as well. Friends from younger years and partners of later - there is a desire for closeness and a desire for possession that are both tied yet separate from one another. How much of my friend can you be when you look at other people and smile? Vividly, I can recall grabbing the wrist of my friends and pulling them away from others because of this nonsensical thought within my mind. I wanted sole ownership. I have always wanted to control.

Now, I find myself with, perhaps, two people that I truly have this feeling for now, and one is far more intense than the other. There is a bitter taste in my mouth when they are not beside me. There's is a fire in my stomach that scorches every lush green forest within my chest that crashed the destruction of all else besides myself and them. How much of a human being can you possess? I believe that I will simply hold this venom within my mouth forever, biting my own tongue, trying to keep my grip just loose enough to let them move, but I still stand in waiting to swallow completely, to devour whole what it is that I desire. Only this way can I truly possess what I want for myself.