October 03, 2011 [1/2]

Disclaimer: The opinions and statements expressed in these old diary entries reflect my thoughts at the time they were written. They are subject to change and may not represent my current views or beliefs.

Dear Diary, 

My crush is hmm... you know, when his [he’s] absent, gone for practice, excused etc. basta [when] his [he’s] not in school I feel lonely. I feel powerless. But when his [he’s] present I feel energized, and especially when really sats [sits] down beside me or near and when he always asks me, talk to me O, M, G !, whoa!....... Sometimes I felt that marwins marwin had a crush on me, wow! OMG3x!!!!...... because I can say that, cause he always seat [sit] beside me, always talk to me, and especially he always makes me laugh.. hahaha!!! but I really don’t know yet so I have to discover and open new doors.

Sincerely yours,

[redacted]

notes: no words.. I was already 12yrs old here. this one personally is soo embarrassing. I sounded crazy and delusional in this entry, which I believe carried on to my adulthood ahem.

the last part where I say “I really don’t know yet”. iirc, my close friend also had a crush on marwin. and at that time I felt really bad for crushing on the same guy my good friend also really liked, so I kept this secret to myself.