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welcome. i apologize for faults in my grammar or in spelling as i don't really have control of my health right now. or anything really. as always thank you for even looking, feel free to quote me, and please don't be rude.
December's upon us.
Merry Christmas and have a great New Year! I wish I would.
I wish I could.
You all know that feeling of joy, opening a present.
Well, if you haven't I'm sorry. You know it might not be much of a present but maybe I could draw for you? Go on, ask. It's fine. In fact it might even help me.
Anyways, you don't know what could be inside. A toy car, doll, perhaps that one Science set you saw on TV that looked cool, or art supplies of plenty.
But it really feels missing nowadays you know? I feel like all my presents are just... a one time use thing. You know? I don't even mind getting a set of kneadable erasers! It feels more worth is than a broken slime set that gathers dust.
It's the thought that matters right?... I mean if they give me a bag for a 3rd grader... Maybe? I mean- I would wear it if it weren't for the fact it can't hold anything, but-
I'm just a complainer aren't I? As they said, if there's a will, there's a way. Now, it's time to twist this phrase into something frightful because I refuse to do anything right in my life.
...Anyways, about December. I've got millions of animaton ideas with none executed. The one I have actually started on has had no progress for the past 2 months. I would say "I have no motivation" but I've been thinking about it since October. I would also say "I'm bad at art", but seriously it's still just the storyboard, it doesn't really matter. I would then say "I have no time" yet you can clearly see that this blog even exists.
You know, people keep telling me to ask for help. I do. But it's really rare for someone to tell me something I haven't done before.
I have so much thoughts. I might have ADHD, Autism, or even DID. But I wouldn't know. I can't know. I'll be judged. For what? Existing? Yes. Really. That's why I've decided I don't need to diagnose anyways.
All I want for Christmas is not to be judged. For the world to be a better place, not just for me. But for everyone. Have a merry day, year, and life.
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Tim
It is hard to get urself to do the things u want, I have a hard time doing things too... I think its called task paralysis?
Sometimes doing things feel excruciating... And thats ok. Sometimes workarounds 2 the situation do not work but that is ok also. We shouldnt have 2 force ourselves over things if they are 2 much. Sometimes they just are and we cannot help it-- it might just mean we should use what time we do have for other things for now.
I relate to u. It makes my skin crawl hearing the same things over and over... I would like 2 help u, as someone who wants to be ur friend, but I do not want 2 repeat the same things people say...
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I have not enjoyed Christmas in a while as well. I for a while just summed it up to me growing up and growing up just makes people sadder naturally... But it probably is not that if the people that surround us are as happy as they always are.
I feel u w/ gifts. Im happy to receive soemthing but it feels a little pointless if we wont enjoy them. Gifts are meaningful they say-- but maybe the giver meant it to be meaningful, but the meaning didnt reach the receiver. It is unfortunate people tend not to get that.
I hope u enjoy ur Christmas, Mika. Somehow, someway.
Thank you, it really helps me. I love getting gifts but sometimes it really just feels like they did it for the sake of doing it. I know it's not like that at all most of the time, but I've never really sit right with presents really. Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it
by Mika Stellar; ; Report
NP, Im glad and I appreciate ur reply as well :))
by Tim; ; Report