the paradox of attraction

a lot of people say personality matters more than looks, but in reality, looks are often the first thing we notice about someone. it's human nature to make judgments based on appearance, and in many situations, it’s the first thing people see. we live in a society where physical attractiveness is often emphasized, especially in the world of dating apps and social media, where images are everything. it can feel like the chances of finding a relationship are higher if you're considered "prettier" or more conventionally attractive, because those initial visual impressions seem to carry so much weight.

even though i know my personality is a big part of what makes me who i am, and i believe it's a key part of what makes me a good partner, i can’t escape the feeling that looks are what matter most when it comes to getting noticed in the first place. it’s like being attractive is the first step to getting someone’s attention, but it’s your personality that keeps them around. it’s confusing because we all know that personality should be the thing that truly matters, but physical attraction still seems to have the upper hand when it comes to first impressions. the strange thing is, we often focus so much on trying to look good, we forget that the things that really create deep connections—like being genuine, caring, and funny—are what make relationships last. but still, there's this nagging feeling that if we were "prettier," we’d have more of a chance at someone noticing us in the first place.