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what are some thoughts for the year? hmm. i dont really blog here much but i should start. my problem is overthinking. "does what im saying even matter? will anyone read it?" but who cares? its always nice to make connections with people but its nawt that serious. i'm only here for fun, and friends are just an added bonus.
i love to chat, but i'm not great at it. my thoughts are too disorganized! and i'm bad at conversation anyways. i tend to trail off... well, i've always been a little reserved around people i'm not super close with. it's so hard to strike a balance! like i dont even know if im saying anything right now. i'm typing words but is it coherent? are you riding my wave? or are you smiling and nodding from the beach?...
but there i go again, preoccupied with whether my words matter or not. it doesnt matter if they do, girl, relax. this is spacehey. i can talk about whatever for the hell of it.
honestly, at least it's something. how disheartening to see so many people using the blog just to post like, keysmashes and one sentence entries. maybe disheartening isnt the word. annoying? thats closer. treating this website like twitter... yuck! myspace clones deserve better than to be reduced to modern social media by their userbases :(
now, back on topic (there never was really a topic i think LOL). oh yeah, 2024 thoughts...
umm well i turned 30 this year. goshhh how ive grown these past 10 years. and speaking of 10 years, thats how long my bf and i have been together! 🥰💖 my baby, my handsome guy, MWAH i love him so much!!! we were both so immature when we met omg, we've both grown! it kind of feels like part of turning 30 is realizing and accepting that you used to be kind of an idiot. especially as a teenager and into your early 20s. and realizing and accepting that certain things just aren't as serious as you thought back then, while other things become much more important. letting go of being right all the time, and accepting that you just can't reach some people. owning up to past mistakes, letting go of past failures, and stepping up to the plate to becoming a better person. balancing wants with needs, tempering my reactions to things, thinking things through, not jumping to conclusions. it's a work in progress, of course, we all are ^_^
sometimes tough decisions have to be made. sometimes you have to pull yourself up whether you want to or not. it's only good to be stubborn when there's a benefit to it. the benefit doesn't have to be yours and it shouldn't always be. you need to take care of others. you need to be compassionate. you need to take care of yourself. sometimes that means putting yourself through temporary discomfort. you need to open your eyes. you need to go the hell outside and experience life. offline.
whatever, this isn't a lecture. just thoughts. i'm happier now than i ever was a decade ago when i lived online. i love having hobbies, i love learning new things and staying curious! i love living life in the real world.
it feels good not to care so much what strangers think of me. to not be stressed about constantly having to check myself wrt moral positioning ("fake wokeness", you know), comparing myself to my online peers who were also doing the same things. not looking over my theoretical shoulder every time i post anymore in case something i said might be "problematic", or misconstrued to seem that way.
being involved in real activism, in real life. not chronically online bs that only passes for activism if you squint and have cataracts. something that actually makes a difference. educating myself and others. that feels good. that has substance. it's one thing to put "dni if u like cops" in your about, but have you looked into getting an inmate pen pal? volunteering at a shelter or other organization that helps at risk, marginalized people? there's your real activism. go do it.
i signed up to join a program where you can become pen pals with an inmate (or more than one) on death row. hopefully i can start that in 2025! im really looking forward to it! they need friends and supporters now more than ever.
hmm... what else...
in 2025 i want to start reading more. i need to remind myself not to get frustrated when it gets difficult to focus, i can go at my own pace. my bf bought me 3 of the discworld novels last time he visited so maybe i'll start with those! it's one thing to have them read to me, i'm sure i'll catch on to more things when i read them myself :3 ive got the color of magic, the light fantastic, and soul music!!
i do want more books, but i suppose i should read the ones i have first. otherwise i'll just get overwhelmed and probably end up not reading much of anything LOL
i think the lions are making it to the superbowl this year >:3 FORWARD DOWN THE FIEEEEELD
oh yeah! i also need doll clothes for my cabbage patch kids that i dug up out of storage. really, they were my cousin's, but they're mine now. my grandma was going to donate them. i said no way!
left to right their names are tao (2004 play along), laura (1982 mattel), and maia (2004 play along). laura was actually my first cpk that my mom got for me from a garage sale, but when i got a new one (molly) for my birthday or something later that year, i gave laura to my cousin! i had like 6 or 7 of them. my mom might still have some of them at her house ^_^ i should check next time i visit, and see if she has any of their outfits still, too! omg maybe i should make a blog about my cpks at some point!!
yaaawwwwwn... ok, it's time to start settling in. bedtime soon =w= but this was fun. maybe i need to gab and yap to no one in particular more often!
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sam
i can relate to basically all your points about the internet vs real life activities. i'm still pretty online (if thats not self-evident, lol), but i only use spacehey, discord, play a few online games, and occasionally watch youtube, whereas when i was teen, i was pretty socially isolated and spent a lot of time on twitter/instagram/tumblr. that was the bulk of my social interaction at the time, tbh... needless to say, that was not healthy at all. i would prioritize those online relationships/spending time online above things that were arguably more important. im really glad ive grown out of that and can treat the internet as a supplement to my real life, and not the other way around like i used to. volunteering is awesome and extremely fulfilling, im happy to hear youve been able to get involved with something youre passionate about ^^ i volunteer with my state Audubon society, and im currently in training to become a volunteer court appointed special advocate. im really looking forward to getting started with that!! the pen pal program you mentioned sounds awesome, i'll have to look into that myself.
also yeah, you should just read at whatever pace/frequency is comfortable for you. i read a lot... sometimes. other times, i have too many obligations going on to properly focus and tear through a novel. that's totally normal :3 it's better to read a handful of books slowly and thoroughly than to read a bunch but only come away with a surface level understanding of them, anyway
tumblr and twitter were so hellish on my dumbass immature brain. oh god, all the discourse EUGH!!! i only finally left tumblr a couple years ago when i was "called out" for apparently being a transmisogynist for not being okay with pedophilia, incest, zoophilia, etc (?!?!). like i'd actually been in the process of deactivating my account or whatever for a week or so and then that was the final nail. it was like, okay, not totally shocked but still what the hell. im out LOL
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
ALSO WOW you do such cool stuff!! im not really able to get out much so im mostly limited to things i can do from home. i hope that changes someday because i really want to be able to go to protests and do volunteer work and meet people and do meaningful things and make meaningful connections... sigh!!
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
yeah twitter and tumblr are horrific for the developing mind lmao. i made my first tumblr at the ripe age of twelve... i was a steven universe blogger
and people on both tumblr/twt throw around transmisogyny accusations like that word has no real life implications to them i swear to god
aw that sux, im sorry your situation is inhibiting u from getting out there. im in an urban area and have transportation ect so im pretty fortunate in that regard i guess, theres a lot of things to do here n i'm able to get there to do em. idk if youre already aware of this or not, but ill mention it just in case you arent: if u go on the website volunteermatch.org, you can filter for fully remote volunteer opportunities! i did a quick search on there and found a volunteer opportunity with the college guild you may find of interest: https://www.volunteermatch.org/search/opp2051231.jsp
by sam; ; Report
omg THANK U thats super helpful! ill bookmark that link rn
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
vio&
omggg i have so many thoughts on how ppl treat this site like twitter/modern social media . like i havent seen ppl make short blogs but i Have seen ppl just . not rlly engage. its why i dislike friendproject despite it being a myspace clone as well bc theres a like button and ppl wont actually feel the need to comment .. its why i dont post my work as much orz
also i can relate re: actual activism. its why i dont rlly use tumblr anymore and only use it for writing bc god the takes on there r so disconnected from reality. and doing irl advocacy work rlly gives u a fresh perspective on that . unfortunately i havent done much of it bc of work but Someday ......
also can relate to not being coherent bc likeeee i know im a writer but i still dont know how to word shit
by vio&; ; Report
look up stuff you can do every once in a while like donation collections and whatnot!! every 6 months or so i like to go through all my clothes and things and donate stuff that doesnt fit, i dont wear/use much and stuff ^_^ and you can also donate a couple dollars from your paycheck to a charity, they really know how to stretch a dollar. little stuff makes a big difference too
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report