I apologize.

My mental health is getting bad. I'm trying to be as positive as possible but my family isn't helping out with that. My friends tell me that I shouldn't apologize for things I don't have to but I want to so bad. It feels like it's all my fault for everything, all the things people have done and said about me, my body, my personality, my interest. I forgive all of them but it still really hurts. I've also been having those end it all thoughts and sometimes, they're my greatest comfort. 

I'm sorry for venting like this, you guys don't need to deal with it, I apologize. I'm going to go back to how life is, my eyes hurt and so does my body.